Great Expectations

When a woman hits a certain age range, there are expectations that come along with it. Not only from culture but from friends and family.
It used to make me mad, jaded, resentful and feel like I wasn’t enough. Yes, I’m over 30 and no, I’m not married. And sometimes that baffles people. They think I must be unhappy. They think I must be lonely.
And of course I sometimes experience sadness and longing for a relationship with someone.
But I can wait. And in the meantime I’ve learned so much about myself and have done things I never dreamed I could.

And through all this soul searching and seasons of “alone time” I’ve come to understand where all the pressure to marry stems from. Why family members and married friends are not content to see my be merely single. And it’s given me perspective!

They have found happiness in their unions. And many of them have spent the majority of their lives married. And can’t imagine life without their partner. At the end of the day they only want that same joy for me. And instead of it being a wish for me to marry, what it really is is a wish for me to experience the kind of joy they have in their lives.

That is a beautiful thing. Something I can appreciate and not shake my single fist at.

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dating, expectations, family, friends, happiness, love, marriage, men, over 30, pressure, settling down, society, web series, weddings, women

5 responses to “Great Expectations”

flygirl140

October 7, 2014 at 8:24 am

Thank you for posting this. It is nice to hear such a positive approach to something most of us have to deal with!

My in-laws have been bullying me to get pregnant since I met them. I know the reason they want me to have a baby is so that they can have a baby. The pushing has led to a very resentful relationship on my part, so I am going to attempt to implement your point of view! To remain positive despite the pushing.

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1. LizTailor
  
  October 7, 2014 at 9:40 am
  
  It’s a very hard thing to do. Trust me I know!! But I have to remind myself that you can’t expect someone else to change and if it makes you miserable then why not do a little changing yourself.
  A new point of view can work wonders and the truth of where the pressure comes is usually a pretty loving place. Once you start to see it that way, it makes it a little easier to take.
  And maybe that resentment will turn to understanding and maybe the pressure will melt away! I hope that for you!
  
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  1. flygirl140
    
    October 7, 2014 at 9:45 am
    
    Thank you! My main thought is that I refuse to let someone else steal my happiness. It is a struggle. I know that sometimes they comment out of selfish reasons but I also know that they are afraid they will miss out on our future kids (health issues). So I try to be as loving and understanding as possible to get through it.
    
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  2. LizTailor
    
    October 7, 2014 at 10:54 am
    
    I have a feeling that is how my family members feel as well. They don’t want to miss seeing that in my life. And I think that’s sort of a sweet reason behind the often painful pressure.
    Once I started seeing it that way it really softened my heart to their words and actions.
    Good luck and find your own happiness! You can’t make other people happy. You can only work at your own.
    
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  3. flygirl140
    
    October 8, 2014 at 9:35 am
    
    Thank you! Best of luck in your endeavors as well!
    
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