Nerd in Another City

So…I’ve been a bridesmaid a couple of times. And by a couple, I mean a lot. And by a lot, I mean 14. I have been a bridesmaid for 14 different brides and grooms. I’ve worn a lot of dresses and none have been white and poufy.

Yes, the words “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride” come to mind. But do you know where that phrase comes from? Check it out:

So it was Listerine who decided that a woman’s worth was based on her hygiene and her appearance and her ability to catch a husband. Sure, it was 1924 and women weren’t quite liberated from the stereotypes yet (are we now?) But advertising tactics like this definitely didn’t help things move in the right direction.

And inevitably when I tell people I’ve been a bridesmaid 14 times, they almost always say this phrase to me. And I really hate it. It’s basically the worst. Being a bridesmaid has nothing to do with romantic relationships and whether or not you can find someone to marry and everything to do with great friendships and finding people who care about you! Being a bridesmaid really means that you are someone’s friend. A friend who they want to share their big moments with. A friend they want to stand with them on a big day like that.

I’ve decided we need to change the phrase. Out with the old and in with the new!! Spread the word. Tell your friends. The new phrase is “Often a bridesmaid, not yet a bride!” Say it with pride. Say it with confidence. And know that if you are a perpetual bridesmaid, like me, then it’s only because you are wanted and you are loved and you are someone’s friend. And that is a wonderful thing.