If you’ve seen this week’s episode of my web series, then you’ll have heard the latest in a succession of terrible pick-up lines meant to pick me up. Needless to say, they did not work. If you haven’t seen it yet, take a look:
Here’s a list of things that are not appropriate to use as a pick-up line! (And incidentally, all things that I have heard uttered in my direction. What is my life??)
**Caution: not for grandmas, children or the faint of heart.**
-“Hi, I’m married. Wanna get a drink cause actually… I’m not really married.”
-“The things I would do to your vagina.”
-“Hi, we don’t know your name, but we’ll F*** your brains out just the same.”
-“You look like the kind of tall, voluptuous girl that I’ve always wanted to do it with.”
-“See, tomorrow you should be waking up on top of me with the windows open.”
-“Hey princess, I just wanna get to know ya.”
-“Hope you like strangling kittens as much as I do!”
-“I’ll just come over to your place and take all my clothes off “
Here’s a list of alternatives that one might try instead of the aforementioned list of disgustingness!
-“Hi!”
-“What’s your name?”
-“My name is ______”
That’s it! That’s all you need. Something polite. Something that let’s me know you are in fact a human being and not a Gremlin in human’s clothing. Seriously guys… try it sometime. I promise these options will get you much farther than anything that I’ve ever heard!
Got any pick-up lines that have worked? Or heard any that worked for you? Let me know!
Nerd in Another City 
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