That is Not a Pick-up Line!

If you’ve seen this week’s episode of my web series, then you’ll have heard the latest in a succession of terrible pick-up lines meant to pick me up. Needless to say, they did not work. If you haven’t seen it yet, take a look:

Here’s a list of things that are not appropriate to use as a pick-up line! (And incidentally, all things that I have heard uttered in my direction. What is my life??)

**Caution: not for grandmas, children or the faint of heart.**

-“Hi, I’m married. Wanna get a drink cause actually… I’m not really married.”
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-“The things I would do to your vagina.”
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-“Hi, we don’t know your name, but we’ll F*** your brains out just the same.”
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-“You look like the kind of tall, voluptuous girl that I’ve always wanted to do it with.”
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-“See, tomorrow you should be waking up on top of me with the windows open.”

-“Hey princess, I just wanna get to know ya.”

-“Hope you like strangling kittens as much as I do!”

-“I’ll just come over to your place and take all my clothes off “

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Here’s a list of alternatives that one might try instead of the aforementioned list of disgustingness!

-“Hi!”

-“What’s your name?”

-“My name is ______”

That’s it! That’s all you need. Something polite. Something that let’s me know you are in fact a human being and not a Gremlin in human’s clothing. Seriously guys… try it sometime. I promise these options will get you much farther than anything that I’ve ever heard!

Got any pick-up lines that have worked? Or heard any that worked for you? Let me know!

6 thoughts on “That is Not a Pick-up Line!

  1. Hey Liz,

    As a guy who has said a lot of dumb stuff and learned from it, I believe I may have something of value to add when it comes to 1 guy speaking to 1 gal…

    DISCLOSURE: This is NOT a line… It is REAL. And the real-ness is the best part about it.

    GUY: I could use your opinion on something…

    GAL: OK…

    GUY: What do you think of… (NYC, fashion, music, or any other interesting topic worthy of discussion)

    GAL: (likely responding…)

    GUY: [LISTENING]

    That’s it, guys. Do this everyday: Ask real question. Listen.

    If you are sincerely interested in an opinion other than your own, maybe a woman will be interested in discussing things with you. Possibly every day. This is only a start. The rest is more complicated.

    And if you’re lucky, you can get past real names and move toward pet names. The special one in my life is my “sweetheart”… Which is a lot more fun than her birth name.

    Liked by 1 person

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