Jane Austen Syndrome

I am by no means the first delicate female to suffer from this deep affliction. But it is, perhaps, safe to call my case one of the most severe. Long have I suffered in silence, but I cannot continue thusly. I must share with you my struggles in the hopes that you, gentle reader, may commiserate with me and perchance even share in this sickness as well, for I truly cannot be the only one out there who has experienced, what will hence be known as, The Jane Austen Syndrome.

But it’s symptoms are not so easily recognized in everyone so keenly as they are in me. Allow me to illuminate some such symptoms for you, so that you may then be able to seek the proper advisement from your local apothecary to acquire the necessary cure for such an illness as this.

Symptoms include, but are not limited to…

1. Taking long walks for no reason at all

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2. Getting constantly caught in the rain

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3. Spontaneous trips to the English countryside

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4. Learning the art of wax sealing letters

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5. Ballroom dance lessons

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6. Calligraphy lessons

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7. Piano and/or singing lessons

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8. Performing piano and/or singing skills in public at random 

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9. Taking turns around the room

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10. Discovering an affinity for high tea

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11. Wearing overly large bonnets even when it isn’t sunny out

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12. Seeking out men with names like Henry, Edward, Fitzwilliam, Charles, Edmund, George, Frederick, etc.

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13. And finally, when you start considering a double wedding….it’s all over. You are officially afflicted with The Jane Austen syndrome. Go ahead and embrace your inner petticoat!

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Zombie killing may not have been associated with Jane Austen in years past, but thanks to Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” getting the big screen treatment, that’s all about to change. Don’t miss Elizabeth Bennet and company kick serious undead ass on February 5th in theaters! Check out the trailer:

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