The Power of Hello

So… one night, I was out with some girlfriends for a rather epic night of karaoke. Enter a pack of attractive business men. Now, I’m not really a suit and tie kinda girl, but a cute guy is a cute guy.

When they walked in the door, I was rocking out to Saving Jane’s “Girl Next Door.” Apparently, well enough to peak the pack’s interest. Cause next thing I knew, one of the guys was on the stage dedicating Usher’s ‘Nice and Slow’ to me, personally.

A couple thoughts on this, it was a bold move and sometimes that really works. For this dude, it totally did. Very sexy! ‘Nice and Slow’ is a little fresh, but it’s karaoke and things said via song lyrics are way less jarring than when merely spoken.

For example: if a man ever said “I wish that I – Could pull over – And get this thing started right now – I wanna do something freaky to you baby” to my face… I’d probably slap him. But sung in a sexy Usher song, somehow it worked. Somehow.

Here’s where he went wrong. After he finished serenading me and even stealing a kiss on the cheek, he walked off the stage and went back to sit with his friends. Then he didn’t even approach me the rest of the night. Just stared at me from across the room. If you have the balls to get on stage and dedicate a song to me, you better have the balls to walk 6 feet across the room to say hello. But no. He didn’t.

Now, I’ve heard a lot of pick-up lines in my life, as you faithful readers already know. (read: That is Not a Pick-Up Line blog post)

But the one that actually works on me is “Hello.” It may sound simple or cheesy or old school, but I’m telling you… it really works! And if it’s the right hello, at the right moment, from the right person then “Hello” becomes a whole lot more than a simple, cheesy, old-school greeting.

The beauty of language is the subtlety of things not spoken. The phrase “less is more” comes to mind.

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This week’s webisode is the perfect example of what to do. Perhaps only the unicorns know the secret power of Hello, but I want to share this with the world. Education is the key to knowledge. So watch and learn from one of the few unicorns I have encountered in my journeys. Cause this boy knew how to make a Hello work for him!

Color Me Confused

First up is Smiley. I met Smiley at our favorite karaoke haunt, Gabby O’Hara’s one Tuesday night. He wore a suit, bought me a drink and played a mean bongo drum. We started talking and eventually exchanged numbers. A story as old as time. Or as old as bars.

He even came out with me and all my friends that very Friday night. He was so nice and really took the time to talk to them and made himself the pseudo protector of our merry little band. Excited at the prospect of a new flirt, I went home thinking ‘He’s a good one.’ And all my friends went home thinking, ‘The girl finally found someone to date.’

WRONG!!!

I’m gonna go ahead and bullet point this portion cause it gets weird:

– I invite him to church

– He accepts and comes that Sunday

– We exit church together

– No dinner invitation is extended

– Instead he says “I’m gonna go grab a drink and head back to work”

– I scratch my head in confusion and go home to eat alone

–  While on the train (not 20 mins later) I receive a text that says “What are you doing?”

– My inner monologue: “What do you think I’m doing, dumb ass? I’m going home to eat alone because you couldn’t muster the balls to ask me out in person”

– Actual reply: “Going home to wash dishes and eat dinner”

– Smiley: “I love washing dishes, I’ll come over”

– My inner monologue: “Oh you will, will you? We just met less that a week ago, home slice. So… no, I don’t think you will be coming over to ‘wash my dishes!'”

– Actual reply: “I live far away and have no air conditioning so it’s really hot here. Rain check?”

– Smiley: “I don’t care how far away you live and I can fan myself with the clothes I take off. Hahaha. LOL.”

-Inner monologue and actual reply collide into: “Huh? @%&((!**??????”

AND SCENE!!

I told him he should’ve asked me out when he was standing not 2 feet from me and that maybe I’d see him at karaoke sometime.    He hasn’t been to karaoke since and I promptly deleted his phone number. Color Me Confused!!!