On the Subject of…

NO Dating blog post single girl blogger

Dating!

To say that I’ve put a moratorium on dating, would be a bit of an understatement. I’ve downright boycotted the concept, the institution, the application, the very existence of dating in my life.

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I’m not talking about the sweet, meet cute kind you find in rom coms. You know the kind…

“Oops, I spilled my coffee on you in line at Starbucks…let me make it up to you by taking you to dinner, where we will promptly begin falling in love.”

“Sure, while playing football on the beach with my buddies, I accidentally threw the pass that hit you square in the head, but allow me to share a beer with you as recompense and while we’re at it, wanna fall in love?”

Or one of my favorites…”I know I kidnapped your father and forced you to take his place, but I am a tortured soul who is desperate to make it up to you. So allow my ginormous library and surprisingly killer dance skills woo your heart and let’s live happily ever after.”

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Ok, that last one is a bit extreme, and I’m not suggesting men go around kidnapping fathers to meet cute girls. I’m just saying, the art of the meet cute is dying/ might already be dead.

The kind of dating I have been actively avoiding lately is the more sterilized, online variety. The kind of dating that requires you to take up the art of profile translation and possibly martial arts if you hope to survive. The kind that makes you question whether it’s worth the effort at all. If you have the time to scour profiles, decipher messages, schedule meet-ups and fend off unwanted suitors, then online dating is exactly what you’re looking for. And better you than me, because I’m just not made to date that way. Not for lack of trying…Match.com dating blog postBumble dating app nerd bloggerTinder dating app blog posteharmony dating blog postCoffee Meets Bagel dating app blog postZoosk dating app blog postChristian Mingle.com dating blog postSee that insane list up there…I’ve tried them all. Some more than once. Now, I’ve never tried Farmers Only. Maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong. Perhaps Mr. Cowboy is just waiting for me to don my Stetson and give it a go. But I kinda think…nuh-uh!

It’s no wonder why people don’t meet the cute way anymore. We’re all too busy interacting online, which is what made online dating boom the way it did in the first place. I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense, I’m just saying…I HATE IT!

Look…I want to have my cake and eat it too. I’m online as much as, if not more than, most people. I have instapeople and tweeple and whatever we’re calling people on Snapchat (sneeple…snapple) to interact with and I love doing that. But when it comes to dating, the joy I find in online interaction instantly dies. I wish there was an app that matched you based on a few key, unbreakable standards and then set up a way for you to meet your match…the cute way! Maybe it wouldn’t work the way my brain thinks it might.

I just know that I met this cute pilot at the airport last week. We were both in line for tea and he was in a hurry, so I let him go ahead of me. It sparked a conversation…a real one. And if he wasn’t bound for Santa Domingo and wasn’t…oh yeah…married, it might have been a “meet adorable!!” Weirdly, that tiny interaction gave me hope that there are unmarried, tea drinking pilots and such out there ripe for an adorable interaction with adorable me.

This is a 180 from the down on love Lizzie that you’re been encountering lately, I know. But I’m really trying to lock down the things I believe in and I do believe in love, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. I’m trying to find the best way to live by the things I believe in. So love…it’s back on the table. But I won’t do it the way other people do it. I’ve gotta find my own way and I’m still working on what that even means. In the meantime,  stick around and see what happens. At the least, it could make for another web series and wouldn’t that be fun!

Bonus: I saw this online and I just have to say, if a man ever attempted this with me, I’d be tempted to marry him right on the spot…just putting that out in the universe!

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Image found on Pinterest

 

Paradise Found

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a girl surrounded by her bestest of friends is the happiest of people. UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED. And I’m not talking about your run of the mill acquaintance here…I’m talking deep, unfailing friendship.20170224_140811.jpg

The kind of friends that tell you “Those shorts do not work with your ass.” They tell you “No, no, no the bangs look great with your face, you’re overthinking it.” They tell you “He is not worth your tears, girl. Save ’em for a better man!”

These are the friends that will stand the test of time. When other friends fade away…they will remain. I am blessed to have a handful of these “Forever Friends.” And last month I got to spend a weekend in Miami with two such gemstones. Check it out…

Ladies' Weekend 2017

There were a lot of options going into Ladies Weekend 2017. Last year (Ladies Weekend 201) we ended up in sunny Orlando, Florida. Home of the happiest place on Earth, Hogwarts and yours truly. And we had a blast, check it out. So…the bar was pretty high. We waffled between New Orleans, Las Vegas, Mexico and even Paris made an appearance as a viable option, given that flights were only $400 round trip when we were looking. But in the end we decided to hit up Cristina’s home town…Miami! Another sunny vacation…not too shabby.Miami Florida Diplomat Beach Resort travels

I’ve mentioned this to you before, blog readers, but I am a summer girl!! 100%. All the way! The thought of spending a vacation anywhere where the temperature might drop below 75…no thank you! (Talk to me next year when we hit London for Ladies Weekend 2018.)

Cristina is the planner of the group. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love planning too, but we are very different sort of planners and this was her hometown, so the agenda was all hers with some input from Erin and I. But it’s best to visit a town with a local. You can see all the cool spots you might miss if you are doing the tourist thing. So Cristina hooked us up with a home cooked meal at her childhood home. (Dad makes a mean sangria!!)

We also hit Coral Gables, Coconut Grove and of course… SOUTH BEACH!! Erin’s mother-in-law got us a SICK deal on a casita (way better than a cabana) at The Diplomat and let me tell you something, we felt like Queens! We had a personal server and about 5 other employees that made the rounds to check on us throughout the day (Thanks Leo, Cassandra, Jeff, Josh and Danny!) We ordered drinks and fancy lunch and swam and laid in the sun. This is the best way to spend any day, I am convinced. And a day spent like this in the presence of beautiful friends…well that’s where the Paradise Found part comes in!!

Yeah…we did a bunch of other stuff. We went to Cristina’s home church on Sunday. We did little photo shoots for an upcoming blog project I have in the works. We made a pilgrimage to Instagram mecca, aka Wynwood Walls. We ate ALL THE FOOD!! We even tried to hit up South Beach’s night life, but the weekend proved too strong for our dance moves and we tuckered out at around 11:45pm and hit the hay instead of the dance floor. (Don’t even think of calling us old…the sun took it out of us! I blame the sun!)

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All in all, there were so many things that made it a perfect weekend, but the thing that will stay with me is hanging with my squad for a full 3 days. We each live in a different state these days and quality time is hard to come by. We do our best with phone calls, Google Chat, texting, Snapchat (life saver), Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. But who are we kidding…it’s never going to be enough. Our lives have us moving in circles far from the ones we moved in when we lived in New York together and tore the town upside down whenever possible.

Does our current reality diminish what was? Of course not. I think it just serves to make those shining moments of “togetherness time” shine a little bit brighter and causes us to hold onto the new moments we create a little big tighter.20170226_131405.jpg

See you in London next February, my beautiful friends!!

One of These is Not Like the Others

Last time I was at Disney World, I walked into the Hall of Presidents at Disney’s Magic Kingdom, this was before it was closed for the big change over, and after the show I walked out with tears in my eyes.

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Photo from Burnsland.com

This majestic and interesting tribute to Liberty’s Leaders is currently being polluted by the addition of a farce of a man. A sheep in wolves’ clothing. It makes me sick to think of his animatronic visage standing in that hallowed hall of ultimately flawed, human leaders. Leaders who were by no means perfect. But leaders who led. Who saw the cracks and did their best to fill them with the education, perspective and backgrounds that each man brought the table.

They did what they could with the time they were given and are remembered with the pomp and circumstance deserving of someone holding the highest office in the land. No President gets it all right. None are loved by all, except maybe George Washington…he seems to do well with everyone (especially the Christopher Jackson version!)

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Photo from bigfloridacountry.com

People argue that our newest President should be given the self same chance to lead that Obama was given… Kennedy was given… Eisenhower was given… Both Teddy and Franklin Delano Roosevelt were given… Lincoln was given… and George Washington was given. The very man who, seeing the dangers a longer presidency or a monarchy posed to our young nation, stepped down and joined the history books.

It saddens me to think Trump will be represented among our nation’s public servants. He lied and divided and conned his way into office.

You are entitled to your opinion about it…this is mine.

He does not deserve to stand there. His Presidency is a dangerous one, an incendiary one and ultimately a harmful one to a nation that seems more fragile each day that passes.

My fellow Americans, we are being tested. How will our generation be portrayed in the history books?

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Photo by Melville House Books

Look, I hope Donald J. Trump takes a turn and starts to governs, actually becomes a public servant, actually humbles himself in order to serve in the highest office, actually stops campaigning long enough to start being the leader of the free world. But I have my doubts.

I don’t think we are seeing our finest hour. I think we are witnessing the worst of what we have to offer. Division over unity. Fear over basic liberties. Anger and vitriol over kindness. “Law and order” over basic human decency.

Yep, I stepped out of the hall and had to wipe tears from my eyes. And these words rang in my mind: “The woods are lovely dark and deep… But we have miles to go before we sleep. Miles to go before we sleep, America!

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Not My Timeline

Look, whether you are a passenger on the Trump Train or are currently working on your protest signs for the next march, you cannot deny that there has been a shift, a change in the winds. But instead of getting Mary Poppins, we got hatred, derision, division, fear, riots, protests, strikes, trolling, name-calling and more.

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Photo from MattForney.com

A lot of us are asking, “Why, God? Why?” But listen, God didn’t vote for Trump! So, I think what it boils down to is that we are simply asking the wrong question. We have to step back from the ledge and examine why and how we got here to begin with. And I think I have the answer…

Someone messed with our timeline, guys!! Look, I like think about what I’d do with a time machine as much as you do! Quick, top 5 time periods you’d travel to. Quick, top 5 dead people you want to brunch with. We’ve all fantasized about warning the Titanic about that pesky iceberg, assassinating Hitler before he has a time to wipe out millions of Jews and bearing witness to some of history’s greatest hits.

But as we all know, with great power comes great responsibility. And someone just got greedy.

Someone went to all the trouble of building a time machine and it worked. They went back! But, instead of being a careful observer, they tinkered with the timeline leaving us with what can only be described as the beginnings of a dystopian 80’s film.

The thing is, this person will eventually have to return to our time and they’ll discover what they’ve done. It’s up to us to cut them off at the pass and commander whatever contraption they’ve managed to create.

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Photo from bustedtees.com

So whether it’s a flying Delorian that runs on gigawatts, a giant blue police box that defies space and time, a brass sled, a fancy necklace, a wormhole, an old pocket watch or something a bit more sophisticated like in Terminator…it’s up to us, my fellow Americans, to be vigilant.

We must find this meddler and put to rights what has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

So…if you see something, say something. We can come back from this. After all, if Marty McFly could fix his timeline, there’s hope for us!! I have to believe there’s still hope.

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Dear Inspiration,

Dear inspiration,

Dear spark of imagination,

Dear intense, unfailing dedication to sharing my inner conflagration,

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Where have you gone today? Correction, where have you been for a while now? I remember the days when we would sit in Central Park, me with a pen and paper, you swarming through my whole being, igniting the cobwebs in my mind and turning every silken thread into a tapestry of thoughts. These days my thoughts feel less substantial. My writing less inspired. My blog sadly missing you and your flare for the dramatic honesty.

Something was lost between New York, California and Florida. Perhaps you lost track of me in my travels. I tend not to stay in one place for long, if I can help it. The fault is yours, for I travel to experience more of you. But lately when I sit down to write, what comes out is a cacophony of words that have no cohesion. A maelstrom of thoughts with no clear conclusion. Where have you gone, my inspiration? Did I leave you in New York? I thought I felt your breath on my neck when we went to California. Every sunset we saw together would inspire poetry. I wasn’t seeing those sunsets alone was I?
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I know, I know…sometimes you visit me in the wee hours of the morning, when I’m still drunk on dreams. But what you leave behind, I cannot seem to grasp. The mere whisper of magic…the faint scent of the divine. I wish I could lasso your power and harness your energy. I wish I could keep you in a bottle and pour you on when I need you most.

But you are not to be caught in my fisher’s net. You, imagination…you are fierce and wild and will not be tamed by a mere mortal. Even one who thinks as highly of you as I do. Even one who puts a store of dreams in the mention of your name. Even I don’t deserve to keep you locked up, like a tiger in a zoo. Locked up and caged where you do not belong.

There are others who call upon your influence. Others who need you as much as I do. And I know you have to answer their siren call, for their call is no more important than mine. You have to be in so many places at once. God made it so. The way He made it so Santa Claus could travel through the night and need no rest till his work is done. You, too, are undaunted by the call of your duty to the dreamers of the world.

Galaxies are created in your name. Brand new worlds uncharted by human cartographers are discovered. Characters spring to life, upright and fully functioning in the minds of the creators, your offspring. Those who write and draw and sing and dream. Those who make empowered speeches that inspire others to write and draw and sing and dream. This is the evidence of your majestic influence. The bright colors splashed upon our world to brighten dull days and give bold words to mundane moments. You, the paintbrush of God himself, are hard at work in someone else today.

Don’t forget to return to me. Don’t forget your faithful friend. I await your return with eager anticipation. My pen still finds the paper in your absence. My voice is not gone. I use the remnants of what you left behind when last we were together and I will write and draw and sing and dream until the day you come back to me.

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Sad Day

I didn’t know I was gonna start this day with a grave digging. And as I drove the shovel into the ground till the hole was deep enough, I thought to myself “And this was the last day Lizzie ever had a pet…”

The pain of losing someone or something you care about deeply does not diminish one minute of the time spent together. It doesn’t diminish all the staircase conversations that Rihanna and I shared. Or the fact that every time I went to do a task in the apartment she had to get right up in my business because she wanted to be a part of my day. Or the fact that I would often step on her when I’d cook at night because she liked to stand right behind my feet and was so stealthy about it, I’d forget to look for her.

I took her companionship these last few months for granted. I didn’t actually go looking to have a pet in the first place. Rihanna had been my cat back in high school (so that tells you about how old she was) and when I went away to college and to New York, she stayed behind. My fabulous city life had no room for a cat. I didn’t think my fairly mundane Florida life had any room for one either.

But one night a Tom cat that lives in the neighborhood was terrorizing her (what a troll) and she was caught up on my stoop, so I opened the door and let her into my apartment and back into my heart. And she just decided that I was gonna be her home for a while.

Today I’m sadder about her death than I really thought I would be. Finding her body lying peacefully on the driveway this morning, almost like she wanted to make it easy for us to find her, was hard. It sucked actually. Wrapping her up and carrying her to her final resting place was even harder.

My Aunt Becky is the exact person you want to have around when there is a pet funeral going on. She knows exactly what to say. She is a feeler and she puts such beautiful words to emotions that sometimes feel hard to explain. With her you don’t need to explain. She gets it. So she picked some flowers, said a few words and thanked God for giving us animals, like Rihanna, to be our faithful companions.

Someone once told me that God is the kind of God that knows exactly what you need and when you need it! And that if you need to have a pet in Heaven, you will. I sort of love that idea. That picture of God providing something so small and delightful for the people He loves. Knowing that He gave me Rihanna right when I needed her and provided my open door to Rihanna makes me know that He is taking care of her still. He cares about all His creatures.

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I don’t know how to end a post like this. She was very old. It’s ok that she died. I’m sad that she did. I guess I want to say, love your pet and the time you have with them.

New Year, New Word

As you may (or may not, if this is your first visit to my blogosphere) know, I gave up New Year’s Resolutions a few years ago. I decided it was time to stop changing things about myself and start challenging myself to simply be better.

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Each year I choose a word that will become a mantra, a creed, a manifesto to use for the whole of the year.

2016’s word was “Free” and to be honest, it was the opposite of a free-ing year. At times I wanted to be anywhere other than where I was. But in the aftermath of the year that seemed interminable, I can’t help but reflect upon those inalienable rights that I have taken for granted, like…you guessed it, Freedom.

But I don’t want to start this year with the same mistakes as last year. The challenge is to be better. And better is what I intend to be.

With that being said, this year I have chosen the word “Believe” to represent my journey through 2017. Somewhere between New York, California and Florida I stopped believing. I stopped believing in myself, in humanity, and in basic human decency. And while my belief in God never wavered, my trust in Him sure did and my belief in His plan over mine definitely took a hit. God and I have been in a bit of a knock down, drag out for the majority of the year.

But let’s be honest, I was only one doing any fighting in this relationship.

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Believe is one of those airy concepts like “Dream” or “Imagine.” It’s not quite as tangible as other words might be. “Trust” is a word you can sink your teeth into, but Believe…it’s more abstract. There are a lot of ways it can be applied.

That’s exactly what this year is gonna be about. What exactly do I believe? What do I believe about myself? What do I believe about the world? What do I believe are the best practices from a political standpoint? And how does my belief in faith translate to my daily life?

This is a big one, guys. You know how you never pray for patience because if you do God’s gonna throw something or someone at you that will force you to BE patient? This feels like that kind of mine field. Figuring out my core beliefs could take me anywhere.

The Liz of 2016 wasn’t ready for that kind of adventure. The Liz of 2016 wasn’t ready for that kind of challenge. The Liz of 2016 was merely treading water. But no more!

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I hope you’re ready to share in this journey with me. And I hope you choose a word that will represent your year. If you decide to give up on resolving to change, then share your word in the comments below and I will do my best to encourage you this year.

What I’ve learned most from 2016 is that community and encouragement are more important than ever. There are way too many things in this world, in this country that will divide us if we let them. The way we speak, the words we say, the colors of our skin, the religions that we practice. That’s why we have to find common ground. The fact that we are all flawed human beings is a great place to start!!!

Have a Happy New Year and know that I BELIEVE in you!

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Yes…YOU!

A Thought on Alderaan

I want to take a moment and share a couple thoughts I’ve been having about the fateful planet of Alderaan.

Alderaan Star Wars

When we are first introduced to Alderaan (in Episode IV: A New Hope) it is the home world of the one and only Princess Leia. Which in and of itself is enough of a reason for us to care  about it’s fate, but beyond that we know nothing. We don’t know what it looks like, whether it’s a rocky planet or a lush planet, whether the people get along on Alderaan. Do some people side with the Empire and others with the Rebellion? The fact is, in those early moments of A New Hope, we know so little about Alderaan. Therefore, the fact that an entire planet is destroyed is tragic, yes. But we are not deeply invested in Alderaan itself.

Jump ahead to the prequels and the Clone Wars and Rebels and the comic books and the many novelizations both canon and legend that are out there. Some are chalk full of information about the mysterious planet of Alderaan. And just like that, years later…posthumously, we come to care for it quite a lot.

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We see what it looks like in Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. We know more about Bail Organa and the upstanding man he is. The kind of man who would take an orphaned Leia and raise her has his own. The kind of man that believed in the Jedi to the bitter end. The kind of man that died on the planet of Alderaan that sad day when Governor Tarkin chose to use it as an example to keep the galaxy in line.

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It’s no longer a mysterious planet, it’s a tragic, ill-fated planet. Obi-Wan sensing that not only an entire planet full of people had been killed, but an old friend as well means that much more when we start to see the whole picture.

In some story telling, we may be treated to the whole picture from the get go. Like say…starting at the beginning and working through to the end, but not with Star Wars. No, we start in the middle of the story. Not knowing about Darth Vader and his past as Anakin Skywalker, hero of the Clone Wars. Not knowing about Alderaan, the peaceful planet with the beloved Bail Organa on it.

The more the picture broadens, the deeper we understand. The more we care. It’s what I love so much about Star Wars. It’s what keeps the expanded universe going. It’s what makes it so interesting.

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I’m currently reading Catalyst: A Rogue One Novel with my Goodreads book club, in preparation for Rogue One’s release on Thursday night. It deals directly with the creation of the dreaded Death Star and we learn that there are other planets that were sacrificed in order to create that monstrous weapon. Another poignant reason to remember poor Alderaan. I went back and watched A New Hope with this brand new information on my mind and it made the destruction of Alderaan so much more tragic and unbearable.

Alderaan…you went too soon. And we didn’t understand at the time or care as deeply as we do now…in the aftermath. But yes…now we know!

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Bun Challenge

#12Days of Star Wars Instagram Challenge Nerds

Perhaps you’ve seen the popular Instagram account @willitbeard and if you haven’t, prepare to be delighted by Pierce Thiot and his beard. Pierce posed the question “Will it Beard?” And has set out to see exactly what kind of everyday objects, foods, toys, etc will fit in his beard and stay in his beard. Check it out:

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Pierce inspired me and gave me an idea for #12DaysofStarWars …

I call it the Bun Challenge and I’m asking you… #willitBUN

Here’s the gist: What can you strap to your head that will give you Princess Leia buns. Cinnamon buns (rather obvious), toy tires, buns made of Lego, buns made of cookie dough? Let your imagination take you away and make sure to post pictures to Instagram (@nerdinthesand) and Twitter (@nerdinthecity) with the hashtags #12DaysofStarWars and #WillitBun

I have an awesome giveaway and every picture you post and tag me in will get you an entry! Giveaway winner will be chosen on 12.8.16 at midnight! Happy Bunning!

Here’s the first one I came up with today…rather easy and obvious, but ya gotta start somewhere!

Star Wars Instagram Bun Challenge #WillitBun STarbucks bagels PRincess Leia

Bagel Buns (bagels fresh from Starbucks and yep…I bought 2 bagels just to pin to my hair! That really happened! It’s called dedication!)

Can’t wait to see what YOU come up with!