Star Wars Re-Watch (Episode III)

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Out of all the prequel films, this truly is the gem. I’m not saying there aren’t glaring mistakes…the love scenes still induce gagging. And the way Anakin flips sides so casually…yes, it could have been done better. But that doesn’t take away from the overall strength of the film and the beautiful and tragic story it tells.

I can’t stress the importance of watching the Cartoon Network series, Clone Wars. It really adds so much to the narrative and strengthens the weak points. If you haven’t done that…please do yourself a favor and check it out (all 6 seasons are available on Netflix.)

Ok…here’s my stream of consciousness as I re-watched Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. You’re welcome, nerds!! 😉

-“There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.” Ok but what heroes are on the bad side??

-Great start to this movie with the sweeping space shots and Battle of the Heroes playing majestically!

-Definitely the best of the prequels.

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-Anakin looks like he’s seen serious action in the Clone Wars and has weathered life.

-“Set S-foils in attack position!”

-Obi-Wan is such a cranky old man… “Flying is for droids!”

-Poor R4. Maybe that’s why Obi-Wan didn’t form an attachment to R2, He’s lost too many droids.

-R2D2 dueling a buzz droid!

-“I have a bad feeling about this!”

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-General Grevious is so unnecessary. But his theme music is super bad ass!! That cough though…what were they thinking?

-R2 hiding the communicator is so cute!

-I want to hear all those loose wire jokes, Obi-Wan!

-CGI’d Christopher Lee jumping off the balcony is just trying way too hard!! (I hate how they try so hard to show you that even though Christopher Lee is older he can still fly around like a Jedi bat. And why. Because older Obi-Wan was a boss and didn’t need to do CGI backflips to prove his skills!!)

-“Sith Lords are our speciality.” I wish they’d stop giving Ewan those stupid one liners. He’s so much better than that!

-This lightsaber battle between Anakin and Dooku is much better than the one in Episode II. But Lee’s stunt double is still way too spry!

-Emperor Palpatine showing his teeth in this scene!

-Also… as I said, if you aren’t watching Clone Wars, then you are missing out on all kinds of Dooku goodness!

-Anakin holding both the red and blue lightsaber as he kills Dooku…major foreshadowing…and I love it!

-Wilhelm scream!

-Why do all he Nemoidians on Grevious’ ships sound like surfers?

-That whole “I say patience” conversation is dumb. “Wait a minute…we’re smarter than this.” Cause it doesn’t sound like you are.

-Major smack talk between Grevious and Anakin!

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In this photo provided by Lucasfilm/Twentieth Century Fox, Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor, left) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) launch a daring rescue attempt aboard an enemy ship, in “Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith.” (AP Photo/ Lucasfilm/Twentieth Century Fox)

-Ani and Obi fighting side by side brings warm feelings to my heart!

-How can Grevious fly in outer space without needing air, but has that nasty cough??? And does having an organic heart mean he needs oxygen to breath? And how did he catch that cold? And does he have lungs? And if he has lungs and a heart, wouldn’t they explode in outer space????

-Why do they give Sam Jackson the dumbest most static lines in these movies??

-There’s Jar-Jar’s only line in this movie. “Excuse me.”

-Ok…do Ani and Palme think that no one can seem them there? It’s not that dark!

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-“The happiest moment of my life.” Awwww…the heartbreak of this moment.  And of Anakin’s happiness about the pregnancy. Hayden really hit this scene home and makes you feel it!

-Were they trying to go for some pre-Vader heavy breathing with Grevious? Cause it just comes off as a bit of a head scratcher!

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-Que the terrible love scene… “No, it’s cause I’m so in love with you!” “So love has blinded you then?” Yep, blinded by love has to be the only explanation for this stupid dialogue!

-Awww Japor Snippets of love!

-“You die in childbirth” Clearly they didn’t teach Anakin about hope and faith and changing your destiny. Come on!!

-Yes, of course Obi-Wan would be able and willing to help you both. Of course he would! And you should have trusted that instinct.

-“Fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.” But Yoda, I think actual loss can do that too sometimes if not properly dealt with!

-“Attachment leads to jealousy.” Yeah, but if taught correctly it wouldn’t have to! Friendship is attachment…and the Jedi have friendships.

-“Be careful of your friend Palpatine!” They’re all warning Anakin and all but pushing him in that direction. Of course Anakin easily trusts him. He is a loyal man who is hungry for a father figure. And when you separate him from Obi-Wan, the only father/brother he’s ever known, then Anakin finds that relationship in Palpatine who uses it and twists it. All Anakin wants is to love and be loved.

-Palpatine showing faith in him is exactly what he’s always wanted.

-I want to hear more about Yoda’s back story with the Wookie’s.

-Then don’t put him in that situation, Obi-Wan. You know what’s best for him. You are his family. Protect him from Palpatine and from the council!

-I just wish Qui-Gonn was still around right now!

-“A prophesy which misread, it could have been.”

-War always represents a failure to listen. This is a serious truth bomb from Padme!

-Just when Padme is getting to the good stuff and calling Anakin out on his stuff she goes all mushy, “Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo.” YUCK!! I want more of the fierce politician!

-Space Opera is cool!

-Bring on the tales of Darth Plagueis!

-“All who gain power are afraid to lose it.” Yep and that’s why power should be given to those who don’t want it.

-“The Jedi are selfless, they only care about others.” In an ideal world, of course. But sadly this isn’t true.

-What are some other Sith Legends, Palpatine? He’s such a good story teller!!

-“The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be unnatural.” He just hits those dark lines so well!!

-This is Ian McDiarmid at his best! He really nails this scene.

-Utapau is cool!

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-WOOKIE ARMY!!!

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-Anakin and Obi-Wan saying goodbye. The last time they see each other before it all goes down. I’m not crying…you’re crying!!

-Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Ani. Knock it off!!

-Padme looks so pretty with her curly hair.

-They don’t make it very clear whether or not Obi knows about Ani and Padme at this point.

-A rose gold R unit for Obi-Wan. That goes with everything this season! Obi has major droid style!

-“Oh…a volcanic planet. Why didn’t you say so? Definitely send us there cause it sounds super safe!”

-And now we find Dooku was training his evil half organic droid with the croup in the Jedi arts…but what for? That doesn’t make any sense! He was also training Asajj Ventress at this time. That seems to go against the rule of 2!

-Half wheel/half animal droid vehicle thing.

-How are we not about to have holographic conference calls yet? Someone get on that!

-“I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi” Slow clap and a cookie for Mace Windu…

-At least Anakin knows something is wrong here. Now if only Mace didn’t screw the pooch with this one and basically hand Ani over to Palpatine on a silver platter.

-Buh-Bye General Grevious!

-I wish Anakin had gone to anyone besides Mace Windu! Bad idea.

-This staring out the window thing is weird. Are Ani and Padme having a Force moment? Did it work? Did it help?

-Awwwww… Poor Kit Fisto! I liked him!

-Palpatine’s CGI stunt double is also pretty unbelievable! Too much CGI!

-Palpatine is seriously the most brilliantly evil mind. The way he manipulates situations for his outcome.

-This part is too quick. Anakin sees Palpatine kill Mace after asking Mace not to kill Palpatine. Then all of a sudden he’s swearing fealty to the Sith. It’s too fast. The progression isn’t there and that is the biggest failing of this film. That’s the most important part of the story and it gets rushed.

-Do you think Palpatine had the name Vader all picked out and embroidered on all the towels. He thinks of it really fast.

-How can Anakin possibly become so evil so quick??? It’s too fast. Ani is still in there somewhere.

-ORDER 66 😦

-No one takes down Yoda, bitches!! BEST!!!

-Without the Clone Wars series to give you the shading and characterization of the Clones as individuals, you really lose something in this scene where they turn after having fought side by side with the Jedi for years and years. It’s so powerful when you add that layer in there.

-NOT THE YOUNGLINGS, ANAKIN!!!!! Think of your own child!

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-I really love Jimmy Smits as Bail Organa.

-There goes George Lucas’ Jedi son kicking serious Clone ass!

-Anakin really jumps on the evil bandwagon and lies to himself so easily.

“Oh, by the way, Padme. It’s Darth Vader now. I know…totally confusing. And sure it sounds evil. It’s cool. You’ll get used to it!”

-Bail, Obi-Wan and Yoda make a killer team!

-“So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.”

-I think we really get robbed of seeing Padme as her best self. She is a fierce politician with a very clear picture of how things are going down and she’s not afraid to say what needs to be said. Her political career should have been much brighter after stepping down as Queen.

-Search your feelings, Obi-Wan. you know exactly who killed the younglings. 😦 The pain of the reality doesn’t change the reality.

-Obi-Wan’s heartbreak over Anakin is…well…heart breaking!!!

-Oh look, Padme can easily lie to herself too.

-Qui-Gonn could have fixed this. Maybe not all of it. But we really need him right now!

-This movie is so sad!

-Here comes more heartbreak!

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-Padme’s hair is cool in this Mustafar scene!

-You’re darn right Obi-Wan was right! You should have gone to him earlier, Padme!

-Don’t fight your brother, Anakin!!! That’s your family. Come back!

-“Only a Sith deals in absolute.” That’s an absolute, Obi-Wan! Was George high when he wrote some of these lines???

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-This is the lightsaber battle we deserve!!! It’s so freaking epic!!

-Yoda walks in and throws the red guards around like a freaking BOSS!!!

-“Not if anything to say about it, I have.” Trying too hard to Yoda-tize every line of his.

-This whole part is EPIC!!!

-And just when you think it can’t get any better, Duel of the Fates starts playing and takes the emotion up 100 notches!!

-The way they intertwine Duel of the Fates and Battle of the Heroes into each other…John Williams is the Master!!!

-Yoda looks so small after his fight with Palpatine. As he goes into exile and fully realizes the defeat of his oversight.

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-Ok, when Anakin and Obi-Wan start jumping on the lava droids…it loses the magic.

-Even as Jedi, standing on those droids is just distracting and stupid.

-Yes, he is lost. And he needs you now more than ever, Obi-Wan!!!

-“You were the chose one…” I’m not crying again…it’s still you that’s crying, you big baby!!!

-Also…he is still the chosen one. That never changed!

-“Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness.” It actually never specifies how he will bring about the balance, does it. Obi-Wan? Just says that he does.

-Can we talk about how Obi-Wan’s last vision of Anakin is him burning on a lava bank with no legs and no arm. Then he goes on to talk to Luke about him like he was the best guy. Obi-Wan can sure bend the truth and hide his feelings.

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-I’d like to see Bail Organa: The Early Years, with Jimmy Smits raising Leis amidst what I can only imagine is a rather fascinating political landscape in the early days of the Rebellion on Alderaan!

-“Isita Orido…Oooba…Oooba…Oooba… isista Orida.”

-Oooba has got to be the calmest way of saying push in the whole galaxy!!!

-Padme hopes there’s good in him. But she is no Jedi. She believes. She has faith and that is so powerful!

-Vader breathing his first as Padme breathes her last is everything!! And then….NOOOOOOO happens. Ooops!

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-FRANKEN-VADER!!!

-Leia’s theme is beautiful here!

-Tarkin’s look alike is on fleek for those .2 seconds that he’s on screen!

-The last 4 minutes as a set up for A New Hope is very solid. Really sets up the world to come, the world we already know!

-Oh, John Williams. You magical beast!!! He makes the credits worth sitting through every time. He taught me to stay through the credits and listen to the beautiful music!!

Star Wars Rewatch (Episode I)

I’m not on a mission to convince you that the prequels are worth watching. I think that argument is ridiculous. We all have our feelings and opinions on the matter.
I personally like them. They are deeply entrenched in nostalgia from my high school and early college years and yes…there are bad patches, but when I sat in that theater in 1999 watching The Phantom Menace and in 2002 watching Attack of the Clones and in 2005 watching Revenge of the Sith, the last thing on my mind was how well they held up as part of the beloved Star Wars Universe, much less whether they had merit as movies in general.

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I love them. I still love them and no amount of vehement hatred or logical conclusions can convince me otherwise.
And likewise I’m sure my plucky optimism will do nothing to convince you they have worth and value and aren’t quite the evil incarnate that they have come to represent.

My beloved brothers and sisters in Star Wars fandom, let us cross party lines and hold hands together as we await The Force Awakens. Let’s band together, not bludgeon each other with the “I’m rights” and “you’re nots” that have become synonymous with loving Star Wars.

I am re-watching all of Star Wars in number order to prepare for the biggest of days. I prefer machete order, personally, but I think number order makes sense before watching Episode VII. Anyone who thinks otherwise is probably right as well (as it’s a choice not a commandment!)

Without further ado… here are 92 of my humble recollections, thoughts and feelings about Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace: (Best when read along with the movie.)

-Nute Gunray…no thank you!

-Anyone else shipping TC14 and C3PO… cause he needs a nice lady protocol droid.

-I remember hearing Obi-Wan say the classic line “I have a bad feeling about this” basically cemented it for me.

-I love Qui-Gonn so much.

-Battle droids have the funniest butts.

-That thing where Qui-Gonn puts his lightsaber through the door and makes a lava hole…so cool!

-Obi-Wan’s youthful exuberance is so infectious. He’s so eager to Jedi. And his smile reminds me of Anakin and Luke (in the happier time of course.)

-Com-mune-ications…nope!

-Queen Amidala’s wardrobe was my whole reason for life in high school. It’s why I chose to study fashion design in college.

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-Oh, Captain Panaka. I always liked you! And definitely shipped him with Dorme in Attack of the Clones. Even supporting characters deserve a love story.

-Here comes Jar-Jar… you know what I thought was cool about Jar-Jar back in 1999 when I first saw TPM? I thought the behind the scene stuff with Ahmed Best was so cool. His screen capture work was so neat and really got overlooked in the aftermath of the Jar-Jar hatred.

-I really like saying “okie-day.” I’m gonna start saying it a lot more!

-Gungan City is beautiful and I’d like to book a night in a bubble room.

-Jar-Jar was clearly a fan of Full House’s Michelle Tanner…”How wude.”

-Jar-Jar involvement in the entire prequel trilogy is Qui-Gonn’s fault. Obi-Wan was all “leave him behind…we don’t have time.”

-The Bonga ship is cool.

-“There’s always a bigger fish!” I really love foreshadowing.

-Did we need two examples of “there’s always a bigger fish” though? Probably not.

-Obsessed with Amidala’s red dress with the glowing orb things.

-This movie began Kiera Knightley’s career. So we can thank it for that! You can never have enough women who vaguely resemble Natalie Portman.

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-Oh, hey, little droid…we know you!

-“We’re losing droids, fast.” Not all droids, Obi-Wan. Not all droids!

-I guess I wonder why Sidious isn’t Force Choking people left and right, Vader style?

-Tatooine must have a lot of money in it’s tourism  budget. There has to be billboards up in the galaxy “100 light years to Tatooine: Home of the bluest milk in the galaxy.” “30 light years from Tattoine: Home of the sexiest Twi’lek dancers.” Everyone goes to Tattoine!

-Awww little Jake Lloyd. It wasn’t your fault. Look how cute you were, you little mop head!

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-“Oh yeah…totally not at all creepy  that I’m gonna marry you in the next movie, Padme. Not one bit!” -Anakin

-Hey R2, come meet your new best friend for the rest of your life.

-Hahahaha! R2 is a bit of a prude. “What do you mean…naked?”

-Unrequited ship… Qui-Gonn and Shmi! Dreaming of the whatifs.

-Padme is a little idealistic to not know there’s slavery in the galaxy. Isn’t that something a politician should know about?

-More foreshadowing about Qui-Gonn’s death. I really do like foreshadowing!

-I think one of the biggest mistakes the prequels made was to kill off Qui-Gonn in the first movie. He and Obi-Wan are the best ones.

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-I think Shmi’s accent is really sexy and can’t possibly come from Tatooine. Will go Google her entire history…

-“There was no father” That whole Midiclorian business is so unnecessary! Anakin could easily have been the chosen one with a father in the picture. It woulda worked. It’s sorta lazy to just nix the dad and call him chosen.

-Anakin had a whole bunch of Debbie Downer friends. Why does he hang out with them? Where’s his Biggs Darklighter?

-Qui-Gonn and Shmi could have been the forbidden Jedi romance we never had or rather the forbidden Jedi romance we deserved.

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-In an alternate Star Wars timeline, Qui-Gonn defeats Darth Maul and goes back to marry Shmi and free her from slavery and becomes Anakin’s doting stepfather who loves him and helps Obi train him in the ways of the Force. And there is smiling and happiness!

-See, Qui-Gonn tried to save her! The feels!

-Jedi are cheaters! Misappropriation of Jedi powers. Not cool, Qui-Gonn. Not cool!

-“This is so wizard, Ani!” I’m definitely gonna start saying “wizard” and “okie-day”… get ready for it!

-Greg Proops! I love you from Whose Line…but Star Wars gives you street cred!

-Gardula the Hutt has breasts. Ewww. Put a gold bikini on those things.

-I LOVE pod racing.

-I was completely obsessed with that Aurra Sing sighting we get. I wanted to know everything about her!! It’s a travesty that they scraped her from the movies. A cool, lady bounty hunter? Sign me up! Thank goodness for The Clone Wars!

-Shout out to my Tusken Raiders!

-Poor Quadrinaro…he was just trying to support his family with a little pod racing.

-I wanted to be a pod racer so bad! And definitely had more than one Lego pod racing set! Pod racers make wicked cool Lego sets for sure.

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-Ooo-tee-dee!

-John Williams has a beautiful mind. And his music elevates this movie to places it couldn’t have gone without it. Duel of the Fates is still my jam to this day. And I really like Augie’s Municipal Band.

-This is the same as letting a 9 year old drag race. Very ill advised. What was everyone thinking?

-Poodu! (The sneakiest cursing in the galaxy.)

-Warrick Davis sighting!

-“You can’t stop the change, anymore than you can stop the sun from setting.” Dropping some serious wisdom, Shmi!

-“Thank the maker” takes on a whole new meaning after discovering who the maker is.

-No one writes musics like John Williams. NO ONE!

-I dig Darth Maul so much! Hes no Vader, of course. But he is a bad ass. When he flips off that speeder to fight Qui-Gonn…come on! Ray Park is a beast.

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-Qui-Gonn trying to teach Anakin patience…the most useless lesson he ever taught. Anakin was not listening.

-Obi-Wan…meet Anakin Skywalker. You will train him and love him like a brother and then cut off his arm and legs and leave him for dead…it’s a whole thing.

-Japor snippets are the new class rings or like getting pinned I guess.

-I love those sunset handmaiden outfits. Definitely wanted one when I was a kid.

-Queen Amidala rarely uses contractions. Is it more regal to say do no and can not and I am??

-Unrequited ship #2: Yoda and Yaddle. Let’s get those crazy kids together. Wait…only 2 of their kind that we ever see? They could be related. Never mind, this isn’t Game of Thrones!

-What exactly is a vergence? And is it different that a convergence? Is it only a Jedi thing?

-No one wants to see politicians in the Star Wars Universe unless its an evil dictatorship and the rebellion that will overthrow it.

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-Palpatine is one slippery snake and that is a strength of this movie.

-I loved this line when I watched back then and have had it memorized for years! “I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee.”

-Wookies in the Senate! ET’s in the Senate! George Lucas in the Senate!!!

-They sure have beautiful sunsets in Coruscant.

-“How feel you?” Another phrase I’m gonna start saying all the time.

-“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Sometimes I forget this line came from the prequels. It is so widely quoted and absolutely dripping of Star Wars! Forget not!

-What Amidala should have said: “Leave the Gungan. Take the cannoli”

-“From your point of view.” See! Obi-Wan listens to his Master. And Qui-Gonn’s idioms become his own.

-Obi-Wan is the very best.

-Anakin: “I gave Japor snippets to the Queen?” (sunglass smiley face!)

-I really like her battle hair. (Saving that for a 30 Days of Nerdy Hair to come.)

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-Those yellow Naboo starfighters. So cool looking.

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-Gungan vs Battle Droids is a fight I could care less about. But those Gungan shields!

-FAVORITE PART OF THE MOVIE!! DARTH MAUL appears! Duel of the Fates …2 bladed lightsaber…epic fight ensues!!

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-Just a room with bridges and no hand rails and now red laser doors? Who built this death trap palace?

-I always thought Padme’s blaster was so sleek! I had the mini keychain version.

-NOOOOOOOOO, NOT QUI-GONN!! Oh, you’re gonna get it now, Maul!

-Seriously, Ray Park! BEAST.

-Lady Naboo pilot alert.

-Battle Droid 1138. (Easter Egg alert)

-Darth Maul, you shoulda had more time to be evil. But (spoiler alert)I’m glad you got resurrected in The Clone Wars.

-Palpatine foreshadowing. You know how I feel about the foreshadowing!

-Qui-Gonn wanted balance to the Force which my father pointed out mean 2 Jedi and 2 Sith. Which is what eventually comes about after Vader kills the Jedi. Dad wonders why Qui-Gonn wanted to bring this balance. When there were so many Jedi and 2 Sith. Did he know the cost of balance?

-Obi and Ani together at last.

-Always 2 there are. No more, no less.

-Farewell, Qui-Gonn!

-History Lesson: In 1999, my brother bought the soundtrack before seeing the movie. And one of the tracks was named Qui-Gonn’s funeral. So we knew he was gonna die and that’s why we don’t buy soundtracks before seeing the films. No spoilers please!

-I love the ending. Augie’s Municipal Band and the big blue  ball of peace (which incidentally, looks a lot like their big blue ball of death.)

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-I have always waited till the end of the credits and in TPM, we were rewarded with the sound of Vader breathing. We flipped our shit. It was so exciting and fueled the excitement for the next episode!

-(Side Note: I saw The Phantom Menace 11 times in the theaters.)