Star Wars Re-Watch (Episode III)

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Out of all the prequel films, this truly is the gem. I’m not saying there aren’t glaring mistakes…the love scenes still induce gagging. And the way Anakin flips sides so casually…yes, it could have been done better. But that doesn’t take away from the overall strength of the film and the beautiful and tragic story it tells.

I can’t stress the importance of watching the Cartoon Network series, Clone Wars. It really adds so much to the narrative and strengthens the weak points. If you haven’t done that…please do yourself a favor and check it out (all 6 seasons are available on Netflix.)

Ok…here’s my stream of consciousness as I re-watched Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. You’re welcome, nerds!! 😉

-“There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.” Ok but what heroes are on the bad side??

-Great start to this movie with the sweeping space shots and Battle of the Heroes playing majestically!

-Definitely the best of the prequels.

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-Anakin looks like he’s seen serious action in the Clone Wars and has weathered life.

-“Set S-foils in attack position!”

-Obi-Wan is such a cranky old man… “Flying is for droids!”

-Poor R4. Maybe that’s why Obi-Wan didn’t form an attachment to R2, He’s lost too many droids.

-R2D2 dueling a buzz droid!

-“I have a bad feeling about this!”

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-General Grevious is so unnecessary. But his theme music is super bad ass!! That cough though…what were they thinking?

-R2 hiding the communicator is so cute!

-I want to hear all those loose wire jokes, Obi-Wan!

-CGI’d Christopher Lee jumping off the balcony is just trying way too hard!! (I hate how they try so hard to show you that even though Christopher Lee is older he can still fly around like a Jedi bat. And why. Because older Obi-Wan was a boss and didn’t need to do CGI backflips to prove his skills!!)

-“Sith Lords are our speciality.” I wish they’d stop giving Ewan those stupid one liners. He’s so much better than that!

-This lightsaber battle between Anakin and Dooku is much better than the one in Episode II. But Lee’s stunt double is still way too spry!

-Emperor Palpatine showing his teeth in this scene!

-Also… as I said, if you aren’t watching Clone Wars, then you are missing out on all kinds of Dooku goodness!

-Anakin holding both the red and blue lightsaber as he kills Dooku…major foreshadowing…and I love it!

-Wilhelm scream!

-Why do all he Nemoidians on Grevious’ ships sound like surfers?

-That whole “I say patience” conversation is dumb. “Wait a minute…we’re smarter than this.” Cause it doesn’t sound like you are.

-Major smack talk between Grevious and Anakin!

EWAN MCGREGOR AND HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
In this photo provided by Lucasfilm/Twentieth Century Fox, Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor, left) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) launch a daring rescue attempt aboard an enemy ship, in “Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith.” (AP Photo/ Lucasfilm/Twentieth Century Fox)

-Ani and Obi fighting side by side brings warm feelings to my heart!

-How can Grevious fly in outer space without needing air, but has that nasty cough??? And does having an organic heart mean he needs oxygen to breath? And how did he catch that cold? And does he have lungs? And if he has lungs and a heart, wouldn’t they explode in outer space????

-Why do they give Sam Jackson the dumbest most static lines in these movies??

-There’s Jar-Jar’s only line in this movie. “Excuse me.”

-Ok…do Ani and Palme think that no one can seem them there? It’s not that dark!

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-“The happiest moment of my life.” Awwww…the heartbreak of this moment.  And of Anakin’s happiness about the pregnancy. Hayden really hit this scene home and makes you feel it!

-Were they trying to go for some pre-Vader heavy breathing with Grevious? Cause it just comes off as a bit of a head scratcher!

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-Que the terrible love scene… “No, it’s cause I’m so in love with you!” “So love has blinded you then?” Yep, blinded by love has to be the only explanation for this stupid dialogue!

-Awww Japor Snippets of love!

-“You die in childbirth” Clearly they didn’t teach Anakin about hope and faith and changing your destiny. Come on!!

-Yes, of course Obi-Wan would be able and willing to help you both. Of course he would! And you should have trusted that instinct.

-“Fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.” But Yoda, I think actual loss can do that too sometimes if not properly dealt with!

-“Attachment leads to jealousy.” Yeah, but if taught correctly it wouldn’t have to! Friendship is attachment…and the Jedi have friendships.

-“Be careful of your friend Palpatine!” They’re all warning Anakin and all but pushing him in that direction. Of course Anakin easily trusts him. He is a loyal man who is hungry for a father figure. And when you separate him from Obi-Wan, the only father/brother he’s ever known, then Anakin finds that relationship in Palpatine who uses it and twists it. All Anakin wants is to love and be loved.

-Palpatine showing faith in him is exactly what he’s always wanted.

-I want to hear more about Yoda’s back story with the Wookie’s.

-Then don’t put him in that situation, Obi-Wan. You know what’s best for him. You are his family. Protect him from Palpatine and from the council!

-I just wish Qui-Gonn was still around right now!

-“A prophesy which misread, it could have been.”

-War always represents a failure to listen. This is a serious truth bomb from Padme!

-Just when Padme is getting to the good stuff and calling Anakin out on his stuff she goes all mushy, “Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo.” YUCK!! I want more of the fierce politician!

-Space Opera is cool!

-Bring on the tales of Darth Plagueis!

-“All who gain power are afraid to lose it.” Yep and that’s why power should be given to those who don’t want it.

-“The Jedi are selfless, they only care about others.” In an ideal world, of course. But sadly this isn’t true.

-What are some other Sith Legends, Palpatine? He’s such a good story teller!!

-“The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be unnatural.” He just hits those dark lines so well!!

-This is Ian McDiarmid at his best! He really nails this scene.

-Utapau is cool!

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-WOOKIE ARMY!!!

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-Anakin and Obi-Wan saying goodbye. The last time they see each other before it all goes down. I’m not crying…you’re crying!!

-Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Ani. Knock it off!!

-Padme looks so pretty with her curly hair.

-They don’t make it very clear whether or not Obi knows about Ani and Padme at this point.

-A rose gold R unit for Obi-Wan. That goes with everything this season! Obi has major droid style!

-“Oh…a volcanic planet. Why didn’t you say so? Definitely send us there cause it sounds super safe!”

-And now we find Dooku was training his evil half organic droid with the croup in the Jedi arts…but what for? That doesn’t make any sense! He was also training Asajj Ventress at this time. That seems to go against the rule of 2!

-Half wheel/half animal droid vehicle thing.

-How are we not about to have holographic conference calls yet? Someone get on that!

-“I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi” Slow clap and a cookie for Mace Windu…

-At least Anakin knows something is wrong here. Now if only Mace didn’t screw the pooch with this one and basically hand Ani over to Palpatine on a silver platter.

-Buh-Bye General Grevious!

-I wish Anakin had gone to anyone besides Mace Windu! Bad idea.

-This staring out the window thing is weird. Are Ani and Padme having a Force moment? Did it work? Did it help?

-Awwwww… Poor Kit Fisto! I liked him!

-Palpatine’s CGI stunt double is also pretty unbelievable! Too much CGI!

-Palpatine is seriously the most brilliantly evil mind. The way he manipulates situations for his outcome.

-This part is too quick. Anakin sees Palpatine kill Mace after asking Mace not to kill Palpatine. Then all of a sudden he’s swearing fealty to the Sith. It’s too fast. The progression isn’t there and that is the biggest failing of this film. That’s the most important part of the story and it gets rushed.

-Do you think Palpatine had the name Vader all picked out and embroidered on all the towels. He thinks of it really fast.

-How can Anakin possibly become so evil so quick??? It’s too fast. Ani is still in there somewhere.

-ORDER 66 😦

-No one takes down Yoda, bitches!! BEST!!!

-Without the Clone Wars series to give you the shading and characterization of the Clones as individuals, you really lose something in this scene where they turn after having fought side by side with the Jedi for years and years. It’s so powerful when you add that layer in there.

-NOT THE YOUNGLINGS, ANAKIN!!!!! Think of your own child!

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-I really love Jimmy Smits as Bail Organa.

-There goes George Lucas’ Jedi son kicking serious Clone ass!

-Anakin really jumps on the evil bandwagon and lies to himself so easily.

“Oh, by the way, Padme. It’s Darth Vader now. I know…totally confusing. And sure it sounds evil. It’s cool. You’ll get used to it!”

-Bail, Obi-Wan and Yoda make a killer team!

-“So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.”

-I think we really get robbed of seeing Padme as her best self. She is a fierce politician with a very clear picture of how things are going down and she’s not afraid to say what needs to be said. Her political career should have been much brighter after stepping down as Queen.

-Search your feelings, Obi-Wan. you know exactly who killed the younglings. 😦 The pain of the reality doesn’t change the reality.

-Obi-Wan’s heartbreak over Anakin is…well…heart breaking!!!

-Oh look, Padme can easily lie to herself too.

-Qui-Gonn could have fixed this. Maybe not all of it. But we really need him right now!

-This movie is so sad!

-Here comes more heartbreak!

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-Padme’s hair is cool in this Mustafar scene!

-You’re darn right Obi-Wan was right! You should have gone to him earlier, Padme!

-Don’t fight your brother, Anakin!!! That’s your family. Come back!

-“Only a Sith deals in absolute.” That’s an absolute, Obi-Wan! Was George high when he wrote some of these lines???

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-This is the lightsaber battle we deserve!!! It’s so freaking epic!!

-Yoda walks in and throws the red guards around like a freaking BOSS!!!

-“Not if anything to say about it, I have.” Trying too hard to Yoda-tize every line of his.

-This whole part is EPIC!!!

-And just when you think it can’t get any better, Duel of the Fates starts playing and takes the emotion up 100 notches!!

-The way they intertwine Duel of the Fates and Battle of the Heroes into each other…John Williams is the Master!!!

-Yoda looks so small after his fight with Palpatine. As he goes into exile and fully realizes the defeat of his oversight.

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-Ok, when Anakin and Obi-Wan start jumping on the lava droids…it loses the magic.

-Even as Jedi, standing on those droids is just distracting and stupid.

-Yes, he is lost. And he needs you now more than ever, Obi-Wan!!!

-“You were the chose one…” I’m not crying again…it’s still you that’s crying, you big baby!!!

-Also…he is still the chosen one. That never changed!

-“Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness.” It actually never specifies how he will bring about the balance, does it. Obi-Wan? Just says that he does.

-Can we talk about how Obi-Wan’s last vision of Anakin is him burning on a lava bank with no legs and no arm. Then he goes on to talk to Luke about him like he was the best guy. Obi-Wan can sure bend the truth and hide his feelings.

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-I’d like to see Bail Organa: The Early Years, with Jimmy Smits raising Leis amidst what I can only imagine is a rather fascinating political landscape in the early days of the Rebellion on Alderaan!

-“Isita Orido…Oooba…Oooba…Oooba… isista Orida.”

-Oooba has got to be the calmest way of saying push in the whole galaxy!!!

-Padme hopes there’s good in him. But she is no Jedi. She believes. She has faith and that is so powerful!

-Vader breathing his first as Padme breathes her last is everything!! And then….NOOOOOOO happens. Ooops!

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-FRANKEN-VADER!!!

-Leia’s theme is beautiful here!

-Tarkin’s look alike is on fleek for those .2 seconds that he’s on screen!

-The last 4 minutes as a set up for A New Hope is very solid. Really sets up the world to come, the world we already know!

-Oh, John Williams. You magical beast!!! He makes the credits worth sitting through every time. He taught me to stay through the credits and listen to the beautiful music!!

5 Fandom Friday

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5 Magical Items I’d Love to Own

I love magic! I believe in magic and I really want to be apart of the magical realm. Here are the items I most wish to wield!

#1 – A Wand

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Duh! I want to go to Ollivander’s and find out what my wand core is made of. Is it Dragon heart string, Phoenix feather, Unicorn tail hair or something else heretofore unknown in the wand world? And what kind of wood would be used to craft my wand? Ash wood, Elder wood, Cherry wood, Rosewood, Walnut? My favorite spell is Alohomora (I even named my phone after this spell.) And to do said spell, I need my wand!!

#2 – Mjolnir

Photo from Indestructables
Photo from Indestructables

I’m not really sure what real world applications Thor’s hammer would have for me in my day to day existence. But I know that if it were possible to have one… I’d want it. If for nothing else than for it to be a pretty clear cut “Don’t Mess With Me!” This would be useful on the subways or walking on busy streets. You just don’t mess with a girl holding a magical Asgardian hammer. You just don’t!

#3 – Dorothy’s Slippers

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I live very far away from a lot of loved ones, so these appeal to me as a cheap and quick means of transportation. Practical and fashionable… sign me up!

#4 – Aladdin’s Magic Carpet

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Another fun mode of transportation. This one is a little more romantic than the ruby slippers, cause there’s room for two. Looking for the perfect thing to do on date night? Grab that magic carpet and take it for a spin. The possibilities are endless.

#5 – Lightsaber

Photo by Finkbuilt.com
Photo from Finkbuilt.com

Now, I think you know me a little better than that. Lightsaber belongs at the top of the list. It belongs at the top of every list! But it’s not technically a magical object. The crystal inside the lightsaber could be considered somewhat magical, but it’s more of a religious item that harnesses the power of the Force and therefore allows the Jedi or Sith who wields it to connect to the blade and become one with their weapon through the Force. But you probably already knew that!

What magical objects will you be standing in line for once they are made available?

Nice Nerds finish last

You may not be aware of this paradox. A pretty, socially adjusted, nerdy girl. If you find such an animal… approach with caution. For we are easily spooked.

The challenge facing such a unicorn is that a male counterpart is rare and hard to find. And much like the search for Big Foot or The Loch Ness Monster it is a pursuit that requires devotion and discernment. The funny thing, is that people always say things like “Guys must love you” or “I bet the guys go crazy.” And yet… I see no evidence of this. Trust me I’ve done my research! I’m nothing if not thorough.

So, here are my findings… There are 2 kinds of men. Nerds and the rest of you. You know which category you fall into!

For the latter, if we were, say, on a date and I started waxing poetic about:

David Tennant And Matt Smith To Appear Together On The Graham Norton Show

David Tennant vs. Matt Smith…

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or the various forms of lightsaber combat…

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or how much I truly believe that Siri is a primitive form of Cylon… you’re eyes would start to glaze over. And the look I’d get would be one of utter confusion and fear.

For the former, we would never even get to a first date, much less an opening line, because you’d be too afraid to talk to me, but would secretly be in awe of my knowledge of say…

the Millenium Falcon schematics…

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 or just how many Rules of Acquisition there are. (285 if you care to know!)

I am not the only unicorn in existence. We do exist!! So for the nerds out there remember, we’re just like you, only prettier. And for the others… if you don’t have a basic understanding of which order to watch the Star Wars saga… I’m not interested.