Star Wars Re-Watch (Ep V + VI)

Long have I considered Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back to be my favorite Star Wars movie. But this time around, I have to be ¬†honest…Return of the Jedi really pulled out in front. That’s not to say that I don’t consider TESB to be the best of the Star Wars films, because I absolutely do. There’s no denying it’s merit. But there’s something about Jedi that I respond to more and more as I get older.

The hope of redemption for Anakin Skywalker. The path that Luke is set on after the death of his Father and the defeat of the Empire. It’s filled with victory. Empire sets it all up, but has a twinge of sadness and un-fulfillment. Jedi wraps it up with a giant Rebel colored bow on top.

No matter which Star Wars film is your favorite…if you love Star Wars, then you made the right choice! Without further ado here are my reactions to Episodes V + VI, respectively! Enjoy…

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

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-I don’t like snow. But if I had to be in the snow, I’d want to ride a Tauntaun!

-Leia is so not impressed, Han!

-See…they’re fighting again! That’s what it means to be meant to be, right?

 

-“I’d just as soon kiss a Wookie” …or my brother.

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-Awww Han…you old softie!

-Wampa attack to explain Hamill’s facial scarring after his accident between 4 and 5.

-The full length shot of the Wampa in the special edition is a great addition.

-Is this Luke’s first time hearing from Ben after he heard his voice in the X-Wing??

-Learn to read the room, goldenrod!

-What exactly does the inside of a Tauntaun smell like? Do they make a scratch and sniff for that?

-Are Bacta tanks available for civilian use yet? They seem super handy!

-Laser brain…nerf herder…Leia has all the best zingers.

-Also…scruffy looking? Not an insult!

-DON’T KISS YOUR BROTHER, LEIA!! This isn’t Game of Thrones!

-Scruffy looking = HOT!

-These sweeping shots of the Star Destroyers in space are to die for.

-Piet is either super lucky or a major schemer.

-I bet Chewie gives the best hugs!

-Yep, Admiral Ouzel is gonna get it!

-Leia…BOSS since 1977!

-She just never stops being BOSS at everything in life!! Not in a garbage chute…not on an ice planet…not ever in a gold slave bikini! ALWAYS BOSS!

-“Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself…” – Dak Oh, Dak ūüė¶

-AT-AT’s are mad cool, ¬†but also really slow. I feel like they should be much easier to defeat. And also…I want one for a pet.

-I love Wedge! More Wedge please!

-Snow, Storm, Sand, Clone…Which is the trooper of your choosing?

-Han looooves her….he wants to date her….hug her and marry her!

-Han is quite possibly the perfect man. I feel very confident in saying that!

-Han hitting the Falcon and pulling a total Fonz!

-R2 and Luke together again! Together 4ever!

-Off to Dagobah!

-Dagobah’s not a system…he’s a man. No, wait! That’s not right.

-Han is so good, he knows the difference between a laser blast and as asteroid hitting his ship.

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-Someone turn 3PO off already!

-You don’t know that it’s perfectly safe for droids, Luke.

-R2 is just so presh!

-R2 is by far the funniest one and we don’t even speak the same language. Probing that humor goes far beyond the spoken word.

-Never walk in on Vader while he’s in the middle of a soothing scalp massage.

-Captain Obvious = 3PO!

-Being held by Han would be quite enough to get me excited! (*smiley face emoji with sunglasses!)

-Come on now, Leia! Don’t tell me you didn’t feel a twinge!

-YODA!!!!

-Yoda is very mischievous in Empire. Maybe being a hermit has made him a little batty!

 

-“Wars not make one great!”

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-Here comes the smooching!!!

-Scoundrels are hot…. #WhyImSingle

-C3PO is the biggest cock blocker in the galaxy!

-Wait…Vader mentions the name Skywalker long before this conversation with the Emperor. Isn’t that the big SON flag??

-Yoda is the MAN!! Er…the Muppet!

-If 9 years old was too old, then 20 is definitely too old to start the training and look how it went down for little Ani!

-Leia just sitting there contemplating Han smoochies. We know what she’s thinking about!!

-“I have a bad feeling about this.” -Leia

-Yep…verbal sparring is definitely a trait I look for in a man. Thanks for that Han and Leia. #WhyImSingle

-Ok…definitely gonna work on a #JediinTraining program complete with weighted Yoda backpack and swamp runs.

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-Come on, Luke! You’re the one who came to Dagobah to learn from Yoda and then you don’t listen to his wisdom? You have too much of your father in you.

-I dream of Vader…

-I wonder what would have happened if Luke had taken nothing in there?

-Wah-wah-wah…. No hyperdrive for ¬†you.

-Buh-Bye Admiral. I’m gonna quit learning their names cause…what’s the point. They’re just gonna end up strangled.

-“No!! Try not. Do or do not. There is no try!” BAM mic dropped!

-“Size matters not!”

-“Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter.” I think we should all remember that one!

-Yoda is one Bad A Mother F!!

-Now…if Yoda hadn’t taken Luke’s ship out of the swamp then he wouldn’t have been able to leave Dagobah!

-“I don’t believe it.” “That is why you fail.” Major truth bombs being dropped on Dagobah!

-Now why wouldn’t Han be checking the scanner to make sure he wasn’t being followed by…oh, I don’t know…a bounty hunter?

-I like that Luke has a Force sensitivity to premonitions like his father before him. Unfortunately he’s also impulsive like his father.

-Think before reacting Luke!

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-Lando is so dashing!

-That silver protocol droid is a bit of a B word! 3PO may be a lot of things, but he’s never rude!

-Luke!!! Listen to Yoda and Obi-Wan! This is why you came here to train.

-Luke and Anakin’s problems are that they won’t make the sacrifices that are sometimes needed for the greater good.

-Han tries to give Leia the puppy dog eyes, but she isn’t having it. They would definitely work on me. I’m highly susceptible to scoundrelly puppy dog eyes!!

-I love how Chewie tries to take such good care of 3PO!

-And yet 3PO is so ungrateful, it hurts!

-LOBOT! I love Lobot!

-BOBA!!!

-See what happens when you get in bed with the Empire, Lando. Shoulda really seen that one coming!

-When exactly did Leia fall for Han? What is the exact moment when she realized it?

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-Nowadays if a man ever responded with “I know” he would get slapped in the face. But Han makes it look hot. Is there anything he can’t do?

-Luke, be careful Luke! It’s really a trap Luke!!!

-Lando’s redemption!

-Leia is having none of it. She’s all “Naw!! You aren’t getting away with that shit, Lando. Chewie! Go ahead and strangle!”

-Seriously,,, 3Po comes with an off switch. They need to use that far more often!

-Father/Son smack talk!

-Anakin!! Come back to the light side. Help your son become a man!!

-Luke getting pummeled in the Cloud City supply closet.

-Stop being belligerent to Chewie, 3PO! You thoughtless droid!

-Here it comes….the BOMBSHELL!

-This first battle between Luke and Vader is bangarang.

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-“If only you knew the power of the Dark Side…”

-“No…I am your father!” “Dat’s not twue…Dat’s impossible!”

-“Come with me, it is the only way!” Or…or I’ll just fall down this giant chute and take my chances!

-As many limbs as Vader’s lost, you’d think he’d be a little more sensitive to sitting off his kid’s arm.

-Ok, on the bright side to falling down that chute and landing on flimsy weather vanes…there’s a beautiful sunset to watch. Front row seat!

-The things Leia has to put up with! MEN!

-R2 to the rescue…as usual!

-“Son, come with me.” “Sure dad! Definitely gonna do that after the whole you-cut-off-my-hand thing. Let’s do this!”

-Everyone is always having those delusions of grandeur.

-Back to Tatooine…the sand trap of the entire galaxy!!

-Look…Lando’s not only driving Han’s ship, he’s also wearing Han’s clothes. Must come with the pilot seat.

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-Leia, girl! Don’t fall for that old stare-out-at-the-galaxy-with-my-arm-around-you move. He’s still your brother!!

 

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

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-The Death Star looks much more menacing and scary when
it’s half done like that. It’s like the zombie version of that Death Star.

-Oh snap! You do not want to cross Vader. Don’t make him find new ways to motivate you!

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-And we know just how forgiving YOU are, Vader!

-And…we’re back to Tatooine. Seriously! THIS PLANET!

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-As many languages as 3PO speaks…body language is not one of them.

-Neither is sarcasm.

-Neither is context!

-Bib Fortuna. I know all of his lines. He delivers them so well! “Tay wanna wanga.”

-3PO has a bad feeling!

-Luke has grown up so much. And is a straight up hottie now!

-Poor Han!

-“Yes or no will do!” This droid don’t play!

-I love how feisty R2 is!

-Oh no…the remastered version!! YUCK

-At least 6 Boobs is still there. I know…I know. She has a name and a backstory and everything. But I’ve always affectionately known her as 6 Boobs!

-Aren’t you a little short for a bounty hunter?

-Definitely think I could speak Huttese if I really needed to!

-Can you pull your mask down any more conspicuously, Lando?

-Love will not be stopped by bounty hunters or death marks or carbonate.

-“Someone who loves you!”

-Pudu is definitely not always used only in the context of saying “Fodder.” Very subtle way of adding in some space cursing!

-Han and Chewie reunited!

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-GOLD BIKINI.

-Funny that in A New Hope there were no bras in space, but in Return of the Jedi all she gets is a bra.

-See 3PO, if you weren’t so annoying all the time then people would listen when you had something important to say!

-TV Jedi! TV Jedi!!!

-Luke has become completely BOSS! Like his sister before him.

-Poor little Rancor. He thought he was getting his 5 o’clock dinner. He didn’t know that dinner would fight back!

-And the poor Rancor’s owner. His poor little pet who he’d raised from a Rancorling.

-“How we doing? ” “Same as always.” “That bad, huh?”

-“I hate long waits.” Ummm….Han???

-“I used to live here, you know.” ¬†Yeah…so did everyone else in the galaxy!

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-Eewwwww…. Jabba tongue. ūüė¶

-The Sarlaac looks so stupid in the remastered version. Leave perfection alone, George!

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-Luke is a complete bad ass now!! When he catches the lightsaber in mid air…it is on like Donkey Kong!

-Wilhelm scream!!

-Boba Fett…Boba Fett!!

-Get it Leia…kill that Hutt!!!

-Lando’s screen when the Sarlaac grabs his leg!!

-And 3PO has to be put together…again.

-That rope is tied to the exact perfect spot so that Luke and Leia can easily swing to safety.

-Back to Dagobah. And R2 says…not there again!

-Oh snap! The Emperor is here.

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-Emperor Palpatine has that maniacal laughter thing down!

-“Master Yoda…you can’t die!”

-“Strong am I with the Force, but not that strong.”

-If Luke always had to confront Vader, then Obi and Yoda handled the whole thing rather poorly.

-You know, I never thought for a second that Vader could have been lying to Luke. Did anyone ever think that was a possibility?

-Also…Vader never seems super surprised that his kid is alive. Or that he actually has two alive kids. He wouldn’t have been very good on Maury.

-“Pass on what you have learned.”

-“There is another Skywalker!”

-Well Ben, maybe if you’d been preparing Luke for this eventuality!

-“Leia…Leia’s my sister.” And incidentally the only girl you’ve ever met. So…yep!

-Those poor Bothans. Can we hear more about the Bothans? “Many Bothans died” Is the heaviest line!

-And what exactly were the Bothans to Mon Mothma?? Boyfriend? Husband? Girlfriend? Kid?

-“Ask me again sometime”

-The gang’s back together!!

-Looks like Lando finally gave Han his clothes back.

-Fly casual!

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-“Hey…it’s me!”

-How does Luke know how to work that speeder bike that he’s never been on before?

-3PO is actually wearing a gold bikini himself. Go back and look again!

-Wicket Warrick!! Raise your hand if you like Ewoks. I like Ewoks!! Don’t care what anyone says about it!

-I HATE how much Vader has become Palpatine’s bitch. Palpatine scolds him and just tells him what to do all the time.

-2 seconds ago he hadn’t felt it, now he’s foreseen it all?? That hardly seems plausible, Emperor.

-No one ever listens to 3PO! “Very long drop…”

-Of all the people in that forest to worship and they pick 3PO.

-I’d live up in the Ewok village! Or at least vacation up there. Looks like a fun ropes course experience.

-Leia finally gets to let her hair down. Imagine the braid headache she must have from 3 whole movies.

-R2 and Wicket are the cutest of friends.

-Now 3PO is a good story teller. I love his character arc there.

-“We are now part of the tribe!”

-When that Ewok hugs Han!!!

-“Short help is better than no help at all, Chewie.”

“Do you remember your mother? Your real mother?”

-“Very beautiful, kind, but sad…” Sure, that whole dying thing was super upsetting to her!

-“Your father” (she says with utter disdain) Just wait before you say that Leia!

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-That’s quite a bomb to drop on her, Luke.

-Dude, Han! She just found out an evil Lord of the Sith is her father and that she kissed her own brother. Maybe she needs a minute…

-“Hold me…” Like you did by the lake on Naboo. Oh wait…no. But like mother like daughter apparently.

-I love this exchange between Luke and Vader in the corridor. I think it’s my favorite scene.

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-“It is the name of your true self, you’ve only forgotten.” FEELS!!

-“I feel the conflict within you, let go of your hate.” MORE FEELS!!

-“Then my father is truly dead.” I’m not crying…you’re crying!!!

-“Abu? Nagu tak tak?”

-See how useful the Ewoks can be!

-“Not bad for a little fur ball!”

-The Throne Room scene is EVERYTHING!

-“By now you must know that your father can never be turned from the Dark Side…so will it be with you”

-“Your faith in your friends is yours…” Faith is never a weakness, Palpatine!

-“Oh, I’m quite afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive…”

-Lock S-foils in attack position.

-“IT’S A TRAP!!!!”

-Palpatine keep talking about destiny, but he doesn’t know everything now does he?

-Ewoks kicking serious Imperial butt!!

-Technology has nothing on those fur balls!!

-Way to get promoted, Wedge!

 

-Luke’s struggle is so real!

-Of course you could hot wire that thing, Han! It’s what you do!

-Dead Ewok. ūüė¶

-His little friend is so sad.

-“I can feel your anger…” Ewww stop feeling his anger, Palpatine!

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-Don’t do it, Luke. Don’t give in!!

-That rope across the road gag shouldn’t have worked. But proves that sometimes keeping it simple really does work best.

-Nope, you don’t got it! You made the door stronger, Han.

-NO!!! DON’T LET THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU, LUKE!!! DON’T DO IT!

-And stop trying to kill your kid, Ani! Remember that happiest day of your life thing? Come back to that!

-You keep saying you won’t fight him, Luke. And then you go ahead and fight him anyways. Maybe what you mean is that you don’t want to fight him.

-Stop being mean, Anakin Skywalker!! And don’t threaten your daughter. What would Padme say if you hadn’t of strangled her to death??

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-Luke is so fierce in this scene. His fighting stance is so strong!!

-And now he’s repaid his father for that whole amputated hand thing.

-But the joke’s on ¬†you, Luke. He lost that hand a long time ago.

-“You failed your highness. I am a Jedi! Like my father before me!!” The most epic of lines!!! Still not crying….

-Ya think Yoda could have passed on the knowledge of how to catch Force lightning. Seems like a better use of training. More useful that swamp running at this point in time.

-Vader’s finally hip to the Emperor’s game!

-Finish him Ani!

-Restore balance.

-Fulfill the prophecy!!!

-I’m not the one crying….it’s still you!!!!

-That beauty of the arc of Vader’s journey sacrificing himself for the son he thought he’d lost long ago…

-“Let me look on you with my own eyes.” (Or rather the CGI’s eyes of Hayden Christensen in the remastered version…yuck)

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-The flap of white on Luke’s clothing. Symbolizing the light inside the darkness. The hope!

-Luke looks so confident and grown up and very attractive when he gets in the shuttle and flies off the Death Star. He’s seen some shit. He’s had to grow up and he is so much better for it.

-VICTORY!!!

-“He wasn’t… I can feel it!”

-“He’s my brother.” Oh…your brother! Umm…Leia…YOU KISSED YOUR BROTHER???? Go wash that brother kissing mouth out with some soap!

-Vader’s funeral scene is gorgeous and haunting.

-Luke looks extra hot!

-Remastered version ending is the most disappointing thing in life. Though I do like how they show you the different planets celebrating the fall of the Empire.

-But the rest is the worst. So sad to see it changed from what I grew up with.

-No more Yub Yub!

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-And there’s Hayden… WHY???? Cause why wouldn’t you put a young Obi-Wan in there too… if you were gonna alter it.

-And if you were gonna alter it to create continuity between the prequels and the original trilogy, why wouldn’t you add in Qui-Gonn, the guy who taught them to commune with the Force in the after life?

-And also why would you need to create continuity between Star Wars and Star Wars????

-In short…no young Anakin, please!!!!

-And that’s how they end it. Disappointment. Now I need to original release to cleanse the palette!!

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In other news…TODAY IS THE DAY I SEE STAR WARS EPISODE VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

May the Force be with you, Nerds. Thanks for reading!!

 

Star Wars Re-Watch (Episode IV)

Obviously the Force is strongest with the original trilogy. No one in their right mind would try to argue otherwise.
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So here we go…

Episode IV:

-I have associated the 20th Century Fox fanfare with Star Wars for as long as I can remember. I was always disappointed when I heard it and Star Wars didn’t play right after! That’s what you call a #nerdworldproblem

-See…sometimes Stormtroopers hit things. Like Rebel extras on the Tantive IV

-VADER!!! But also…ANI!!!
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-Who knew that those buns would become such an iconic hairstyle?

-Why did R2 stay with 3PO for so long? He’s such a nag!
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-It’s just crazy to think about Vader being Leia’s father in these scenes. That is an added layer that I think is very cool.

-And…we’re back on Tatooine. The freaking sand trap of the galaxy. Everyone ends up on Tatooine sooner or later.

-R2 vs the Jawas!

-Why didn’t R2 just fly away? Huh, R2? ¬†Where are your rocket jets now??

-There are long stretches in this movie where no one is talking.

-Luke is so dreamy. I don’t care what anyone says!!

-Don’t pass R2 up so easily Uncle Ben! Rude!

-Damn you and your Tosche station, Luke!!!

-A chip off the old whiney block there, Luke! And you don’t even know it!

-Really convenient for for 3PO and R2 that the Red R2 unit has a bad motivator. A little too convenient if you ask me!

-“Thank the Maker.” So…you’re basically saying “Thank Darth Vader.” Is that what you’re trying to say, 3PO? Is it?

-Mark Hamill is such a baby face in this movie.

-“And not very good at telling stories.” Oh just wait 3Po. You will be…you will be.

-What an interesting character arc for 3PO who starts off so scared of everything and “not good at telling stories” cut to the Ewok village where he is worshipped as a god and is telling the Ewoks of the adventures he’s had!

-“Who is she? She’s beautiful!” DUDE!! She’s your sister!!!

-Why doesn’t 3PO know who Leia is? Haven’t 3PO and R2 been counterparts since Episode III? And the ease at which Leia puts the vital information in that R2 unit suggests she’s comfortable with him and knows him. And if that’s the case, wouldn’t she know 3PO too.

-Blue Milk! The breakfast of champions.

-Uncle Ben really handles Luke poorly.

-It’s really saying something that Owen and Beru took Luke in. There is no blood relation there, but they did it anyways. Good people!

-“Luke’s just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him.” Obviously Beru and Owen know something about Anakin, but what is the extent of their knowledge about him? What did Obi-Wan tell them?

-They really killed that hovercraft tech, proving that they didn’t need that fancy CGI to make a believable world!

-Sand People don’t play around! But also Sand People is not politically correct, is it! Don’t we say Tusken Raiders, Ben? Set a good example Obi-Wan!

-Oh look…it’s old Ben Kenobi. No relation to Obi-Wan. That would be ridiculous!

-Why in the world would Obi-Wan change only his first name? Doesn’t he know that they list by last name in the Galactic Yellow Pages?

-Poor 3PO really gets the brunt. He always seems to need putting back together.

-Once a Jedi Knight, always a Jedi Knight!

-“Last time I saw your father…I left him burning to death on the bank of a lava pit with no legs or arm…”

-Obi-Wan tells Luke the lie about Vader killing his father, but I guess he kind of has to to continue to keep Luke safe. If Luke found out the truth right then he might go after Vader far too early. Alternatively, but roping Luke into the Rebellion, Obi-Wan all but ensures that Luke will  find out the truth and face Vader.

-It’s funny how much power Tarkin has over Vader. The Empire clearly has no respect for the Dark Lord of the Sith. Even thought the entire Empire is run by a Dark Lord of the Sith.

-Poor Owen and Beru. They really get the shaft. And all for doing a good deed and taking an orphan.

-I guess all the push Luke needed was the death of his aunt and uncle.

-Worst Dad Ever!!! Don’t torture your daughter, Ani! Don’t do it!

-Mos Eisley is clearly no the most wretched hive of scum and villainy. Obi-Wan has been to Geonosis where there are actual hives.

-Hahaha sucker. Those were totally the droids you were looking for!

-The Cantina is filled with the craziest creatures, but sure…no droids. That makes sense.

-No one bats a freaking eyelash when Obi-Wan whips out his lightsaber and slashes off arms like a boss. And yet the Jedi are supposedly extinct. Shouldn’t that have created more of a scene than it did?
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-Hubba hubba Han Solo!

-Obligatory Han shot first comment!

-Tarkin is a major league bad ass! There should have been a lot more Tarkin (for more Tarkin go read Tarkin by) He’s one crazy mofo! He’s like… I blew up a whole planet, bitches. What now!

-The saddest part about Alderaan blowing up is no more Bail Organa.

-This Jabba scene grates the nerves! Again begging the question…was George high when he remastered his masterpiece?

-Don’t look a gift ship in the mouth, Luke.

-I love Han and Luke’s bromance. Their scenes together are so great. They go from smuggler and annoying side kick to friends to brothers in arms and incidentally brothers in law! ūüėČ
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-Leia is such ¬†bad ass!! I love that this movie was made in the late 70’s and the time period didn’t necessarily lend itself to such a kick ass female role. But here she is… mad respect!

-Never play Sabaac with a Wookie.

-The Force controls your actions and also obeys your commands.

-That’s no moon, Han!

-Why isn’t anyone listening to the Jedi Knight in the back seat?

-It’s funny that at this point in history there is no respect for either the Jedi or the Sith. All Force sensitivity is dismissed because of the events of the past. The winners get to write the history books.

-I think Luke’s whininess only adds support to his character arc in the end. He grows so much between Hope and Jedi.

-“A presence I have not felt since…”Since I was lying on a lava bank burning to death with no legs or arm…or eyebrows.

-“Who’s more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?” Obi-Wan just keeps throwing those truth bombs!

-Have you ever just stopped to look at how large Alec’s ears are?

-I love how protective Luke is of Ben. Even having not known him for very long. Luke, like Anakin, was just so hungry for a father figure he latched on the first one that came along. Uncle Ben withstanding. Good thing it was Ben that came along and not the Emperor!

-Definitely learned from Star Wars that arguments make the best start to any epic love story. In other unrelated news…this is why I’m single!

-Garbage chute!

-Chewie isn’t even having any of it!

-Imagine someone coming into your life the way Luke comes into Leia’s life and it being your long lost twin brother that you didn’t even know you had!

-Stormtrooper hits his head coming into the room where 3PO and R2 are hiding. Rewind and watch it again!

-3PO is so stupid sometimes. Turn the com link on dummy!

-“Listen. I don’t know who you are or where you came from. But from now on you do what I tell you.” Leia is so BOSS!!!

-It’s funny that Luke comes into save Leia because she is definitely the more war weathered of the two. She really only needed Luke to open the door and Han to give her a lift. The rest she did on her own.

-Showdown at the Death Star Corral!

-Obi vs Vader. The epic rematch.

-Funny that they call him Darth for short when Vader is the part that’s unique to him.

-I think Obi-Wan could have stuck around a little longer. I guess I understand letting go to become one with the Force and everything.

-I can just hear Tarkin maniacally laughing. He must have had a great “Muahahahaha”

-“Still. She’s got a lotta spirit. I don’t know…you think a Princess and a guy like me.” YEP!

-Leia handles her emotions like a boss too. Never taking a beat to mourn the loss of her entire planet. She’s all “we have no time for sorrows, Commander.”

-“The Empire doesn’t consider a small, one-manned fighter a threat.” IDIOTS!

-He calls her Leah…it’s clearly Leia. And you can tell that to your buddy Lando too!

-Come on, Han. Just take a look around.

-Han can’t even say “May the Force be with you” without smirking.

-Awwww… i love this scene with Biggs. It really adds gravity to Luke’s backstory and life on Tatooine.

-“They’ll never stop us!” Oh, Biggs!

-Must be hard to date when you have a Rebellion to run!

-Tarkin’s staring game is very strong.

-Do you think Vader/Anakin sensed the fate of the Death Star? He is sensitive to premonitions. And I wonder what other premonitions he’s had over the years.

-“Negative, it didn’t go in.” Ummmm…that’s what she said!

-I love that Wedge is with them till the end.

-And that R2 is flying with Luke just as Anakin always flew with him. The mirrored imagery is strong and beautiful.

-Luke’s affection for R2 also mirrors Anakin’s. It’s sadly beautiful.
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-I love how concerned 3PO is for R2. As annoying as he is sometimes. He really cares about that little droid!

-Falcon to the rescue!

-Buh-bye Tarkin, you cocky bastard.

-The trinity together. Just makes me so ready for The Force Awakens and to find out what’s gone on since then!

-Looking good Princess!

-Luke looks so cute in his yellow bomber jacket. But he really needs o stop making eyes at his sister.

-Shiny R2!

-Chewie is robbed.
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-But no one seems to care and the ending is wonderful and happy and triumphant!!!

Star Wars Rewatch (Episode I)

I’m not on a mission to convince you that the prequels are worth watching. I think that argument is ridiculous. We all have our feelings and opinions on the matter.
I personally like them. They are deeply entrenched in nostalgia from my high school and early college years and yes…there are bad patches, but when I sat in that theater in 1999 watching The Phantom Menace and in 2002 watching Attack of the Clones and in 2005 watching Revenge of the Sith, the last thing on my mind was how well they held up as part of the beloved Star Wars Universe, much less whether they had merit as movies in general.

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I love them. I still love them and no amount of vehement hatred or logical conclusions can convince me otherwise.
And likewise I’m sure my plucky optimism will do nothing to convince you they have worth and value and aren’t quite the evil incarnate that they have come to represent.

My beloved brothers and sisters in Star Wars fandom, let us cross party lines and hold hands together as we await The Force Awakens. Let’s band together, not bludgeon each other with the “I’m rights” and “you’re nots” that have become synonymous with loving Star Wars.

I am re-watching all of Star Wars in number order to prepare for the biggest of days. I prefer machete order, personally, but I think number order makes sense before watching Episode VII. Anyone who thinks otherwise is probably right as well (as it’s a choice not a commandment!)

Without further ado… here are 92 of my humble recollections, thoughts and feelings about Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace: (Best when read along with the movie.)

-Nute Gunray…no thank you!

-Anyone else shipping TC14 and C3PO… cause he needs a nice lady protocol droid.

-I remember hearing Obi-Wan say the classic line “I have a bad feeling about this” basically cemented it for me.

-I love Qui-Gonn so much.

-Battle droids have the funniest butts.

-That thing where Qui-Gonn puts his lightsaber through the door and makes a lava hole…so cool!

-Obi-Wan’s youthful exuberance is so infectious. He’s so eager to Jedi. And his smile reminds me of Anakin and Luke (in the happier time of course.)

-Com-mune-ications…nope!

-Queen Amidala’s wardrobe was my whole reason for life in high school. It’s why I chose to study fashion design in college.

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-Oh, Captain Panaka. I always liked you! And definitely shipped him with Dorme in Attack of the Clones. Even supporting characters deserve a love story.

-Here comes Jar-Jar… you know what I thought was cool about Jar-Jar back in 1999 when I first saw TPM? I thought the behind the scene stuff with Ahmed Best was so cool. His screen capture work was so neat and really got overlooked in the aftermath of the Jar-Jar hatred.

-I really like saying “okie-day.” I’m gonna start saying it a lot more!

-Gungan City is beautiful and I’d like to book a night in a bubble room.

-Jar-Jar was clearly a fan of Full House’s Michelle Tanner…”How wude.”

-Jar-Jar involvement in the entire prequel trilogy is Qui-Gonn’s fault. Obi-Wan was all “leave him behind…we don’t have time.”

-The Bonga ship is cool.

-“There’s always a bigger fish!” I really love foreshadowing.

-Did we need two examples of “there’s always a bigger fish” though? Probably not.

-Obsessed with Amidala’s red dress with the glowing orb things.

-This movie began Kiera Knightley’s career. So we can thank it for that! You can never have enough women who vaguely resemble Natalie Portman.

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-Oh, hey, little droid…we know you!

-“We’re losing droids, fast.” Not all droids, Obi-Wan. Not all droids!

-I guess I wonder why Sidious isn’t Force Choking people left and right, Vader style?

-Tatooine must have a lot of money in it’s tourism ¬†budget. There has to be billboards up in the galaxy “100 light years to Tatooine: Home of the bluest milk in the galaxy.” “30 light years from Tattoine: Home of the sexiest Twi’lek dancers.” Everyone goes to Tattoine!

-Awww little Jake Lloyd. It wasn’t your fault. Look how cute you were, you little mop head!

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-“Oh yeah…totally not at all creepy ¬†that I’m gonna marry you in the next movie, Padme. Not one bit!” -Anakin

-Hey R2, come meet your new best friend for the rest of your life.

-Hahahaha! R2 is a bit of a prude. “What do you mean…naked?”

-Unrequited ship… Qui-Gonn and Shmi! Dreaming of the whatifs.

-Padme is a little idealistic to not know there’s slavery in the galaxy. Isn’t that something a politician should know about?

-More foreshadowing about Qui-Gonn’s death. I really do like foreshadowing!

-I think one of the biggest mistakes the prequels made was to kill off Qui-Gonn in the first movie. He and Obi-Wan are the best ones.

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-I think Shmi’s accent is really sexy and can’t possibly come from Tatooine. Will go Google her entire history…

-“There was no father” That whole Midiclorian business is so unnecessary! Anakin could easily have been the chosen one with a father in the picture. It woulda worked. It’s sorta lazy to just nix the dad and call him chosen.

-Anakin had a whole bunch of Debbie Downer friends. Why does he hang out with them? Where’s his Biggs Darklighter?

-Qui-Gonn and Shmi could have been the forbidden Jedi romance we never had or rather the forbidden Jedi romance we deserved.

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-In an alternate Star Wars timeline, Qui-Gonn defeats Darth Maul and goes back to marry Shmi and free her from slavery and becomes Anakin’s doting stepfather who loves him and helps Obi train him in the ways of the Force. And there is smiling and happiness!

-See, Qui-Gonn tried to save her! The feels!

-Jedi are cheaters! Misappropriation of Jedi powers. Not cool, Qui-Gonn. Not cool!

-“This is so wizard, Ani!” I’m definitely gonna start saying “wizard” and “okie-day”… get ready for it!

-Greg Proops! I love you from Whose Line…but Star Wars gives you street cred!

-Gardula the Hutt has breasts. Ewww. Put a gold bikini on those things.

-I LOVE pod racing.

-I was completely obsessed with that Aurra Sing sighting we get. I wanted to know everything about her!! It’s a travesty that they scraped her from the movies. A cool, lady bounty hunter? Sign me up! Thank goodness for The Clone Wars!

-Shout out to my Tusken Raiders!

-Poor Quadrinaro…he was just trying to support his family with a little pod racing.

-I wanted to be a pod racer so bad! And definitely had more than one Lego pod racing set! Pod racers make wicked cool Lego sets for sure.

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-Ooo-tee-dee!

-John Williams has a beautiful mind. And his music elevates this movie to places it couldn’t have gone without it. Duel of the Fates is still my jam to this day. And I really like Augie’s Municipal Band.

-This is the same as letting a 9 year old drag race. Very ill advised. What was everyone thinking?

-Poodu! (The sneakiest cursing in the galaxy.)

-Warrick Davis sighting!

-“You can’t stop the change, anymore than you can stop the sun from setting.” Dropping some serious wisdom, Shmi!

-“Thank the maker” takes on a whole new meaning after discovering who the maker is.

-No one writes musics like John Williams. NO ONE!

-I dig Darth Maul so much! Hes no Vader, of course. But he is a bad ass. When he flips off that speeder to fight Qui-Gonn…come on! Ray Park is a beast.

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-Qui-Gonn trying to teach Anakin patience…the most useless lesson he ever taught. Anakin was not listening.

-Obi-Wan…meet Anakin Skywalker. You will train him and love him like a brother and then cut off his arm and legs and leave him for dead…it’s a whole thing.

-Japor snippets are the new class rings or like getting pinned I guess.

-I love those sunset handmaiden outfits. Definitely wanted one when I was a kid.

-Queen Amidala rarely uses contractions. Is it more regal to say do no and can not and I am??

-Unrequited ship #2: Yoda and Yaddle. Let’s get those crazy kids together. Wait…only 2 of their kind that we ever see? They could be related. Never mind, this isn’t Game of Thrones!

-What exactly is a vergence? And is it different that a convergence? Is it only a Jedi thing?

-No one wants to see politicians in the Star Wars Universe unless its an evil dictatorship and the rebellion that will overthrow it.

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-Palpatine is one slippery snake and that is a strength of this movie.

-I loved this line when I watched back then and have had it memorized for years! “I was not elected to watch my¬†people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee.”

-Wookies in the Senate! ET’s in the Senate! George Lucas in the Senate!!!

-They sure have beautiful sunsets in Coruscant.

-“How feel you?” Another phrase I’m gonna start saying all the time.

-“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Sometimes I forget this line came from the prequels. It is so widely quoted and absolutely dripping of Star Wars! Forget not!

-What Amidala should have said: “Leave the Gungan. Take the cannoli”

-“From your point of view.” See! Obi-Wan listens to his Master. And Qui-Gonn’s idioms become his own.

-Obi-Wan is the very best.

-Anakin: “I gave Japor snippets to the Queen?” (sunglass smiley face!)

-I really like her battle hair. (Saving that for a 30 Days of Nerdy Hair to come.)

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-Those yellow Naboo starfighters. So cool looking.

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-Gungan vs Battle Droids is a fight I could care less about. But those Gungan shields!

-FAVORITE PART OF THE MOVIE!! DARTH MAUL appears! Duel of the Fates …2 bladed lightsaber…epic fight ensues!!

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-Just a room with bridges and no hand rails and now red laser doors? Who built this death trap palace?

-I always thought Padme’s blaster was so sleek! I had the mini keychain version.

-NOOOOOOOOO, NOT QUI-GONN!! Oh, you’re gonna get it now, Maul!

-Seriously, Ray Park! BEAST.

-Lady Naboo pilot alert.

-Battle Droid 1138. (Easter Egg alert)

-Darth Maul, you shoulda had more time to be evil. But (spoiler alert)I’m glad you got resurrected in The Clone Wars.

-Palpatine foreshadowing. You know how I feel about the foreshadowing!

-Qui-Gonn wanted balance to the Force which my father pointed out mean 2 Jedi and 2 Sith. Which is what eventually comes about after Vader kills the Jedi. Dad wonders why Qui-Gonn wanted to bring this balance. When there were so many Jedi and 2 Sith. Did he know the cost of balance?

-Obi and Ani together at last.

-Always 2 there are. No more, no less.

-Farewell, Qui-Gonn!

-History Lesson: In 1999, my brother bought the soundtrack before seeing the movie. And one of the tracks was named Qui-Gonn’s funeral. So we knew he was gonna die and that’s why we don’t buy soundtracks before seeing the films. No spoilers please!

-I love the ending. Augie’s Municipal Band and the big blue ¬†ball of peace (which incidentally, looks a lot like their big blue ball of death.)

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-I have always waited till the end of the credits and in TPM, we were rewarded with the sound of Vader breathing. We flipped our shit. It was so exciting and fueled the excitement for the next episode!

-(Side Note: I saw The Phantom Menace 11 times in the theaters.)

Star Wars

Only 2 Months to go… I repeat! There are only 2 months to go till we will be feasting our eyes on Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens!!!
(Can you hear that? That is the sound of a fangirl losing her nerdy little mind over here!!!)

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Here is the newest poster to drop today. With the new and final trailer dropping tomorrow night during Monday night football (clearly Disney’s effort to get more nerds to watch sports…all over that!)

First thoughts…
-WHERE’S LUKE?? Someone put out an APB for Luke!!!
-Leia’s hair! 😍
-New Death Star looking weapon!!
-Kylo, Rey, Finn, Poe!!!!! The gang’s all there.

No doubt we will all have many more feelings to share after tomorrow night!
It is really good to be a nerd right now!! Who’s with me?

8 Months Till Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Yes, the waiting is getting harder and harder. Especially with the new trailer out this week. Which, if you haven’t seen yet, must mean you are living in a cave on a desert planet far, far away. For those of us who aren’t a crazy, old man, take another look:

Yeah, so patience isn’t exactly my strong suit. But I’m trying really hard to bask in the pre-Force Awakens world of Star Wars. There are so many wonderful stories to read and watch in the waiting. So while I’m working on my patience, I will be doing these things.

Star Wars Digital

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Show of hands, who will be purchasing both Star Wars trilogies on a digital platform regardless of whether or not you own DVD versions of the films. Count me it. Not only is this the most everlasting version of Star Wars available to us, there are also brand new behind the seasons featurettes available. And if you are anything like me, you consume new Star Wars information like a ream of frozen Thin Mints.

Star Wars Expanded Universe: Legends

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By now we all know that the entire Expanded Universe has been relegated to Star Wars Legends to make room for all the new stories as well as the story line of the new films, but that doesn’t diminish the amazing work of all the authors who penned the Legends. Like Timothy Zahn and James Luceno and Drew Karpyshyn and John Jackson Miller and many, many more. So in the ether of the waiting zone I will be diving head first into the Expanded Universe starting with Timothy Zahn’s epic Thrawn Trilogy! And hopefully getting through as many as I can. Because after December I will be focusing on…

New Star Wars Expanded Universe

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All of the new novels that are now considered canon. Not to say I won’t return to the Legends, because, as I said, they are amazing stories that deserve to be read. But I want to fully immerse in what Lucasfilm and the Disney overlords are considering part of the official Star Wars Universe. There are many new titles coming out not only this year, but in the works in order to start making use of the word Expanded. Right now the timeline is a little thin, especially given how long the previous Legends timeline is. But if I start soon, then I won’t be as behind as I am with Legends. So there’s no time like the present. The only current canon novel I’ve read so far is¬†A New Dawn by John Jackson Miller. Which leads me to…

Star Wars Rebels

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The explosive Disney XD cartoon that is not just for kids takes place in the gap between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. It is a great way to stay connected to the Star Wars Universe in the space between big budget films and the story being told is very strong! If you don’t want to watch week to week, go ahead and start with…

Star Wars Clone Wars

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If you don’t like to wait for new episodes to come out, then Clone Wars is what you want. This is what I’m currently watching. And as sad as it is when a great show ends, I love being able to just power through and fully immerse in the experience of a show. And Clone Wars is truly a wonderful show. The Cartoon Network series takes place, obviously, during the Clone Wars in the space between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. It does an amazing job of bridging that gap, not only by giving us actual stories from the legendary Clone Wars, but also in Anakin’s decent and temptation towards the Dark Side of the Force. Something believed to be missing from Revenge of the Sith for¬†avid Star Wars fans. Clone Wars boasts of strong villains like Asajj Ventress and Savage Opress, new heroes like the young padawan Ahsoka Tano and Captain Rex as well as all the characters we love from the prequels, Obi-Wan, Anakin, C3PO, R2D2, Padme.

Star Wars Comics

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Star Wars comics are returning home to Marvel Entertainment. From 1977-1987, Marvel held the property. Dark Horse got a hold of them after Marvel and they have been responsible for all the modern Star Wars comics that we know and love. But this is the year that Star Wars returns to Marvel, where it always belonged (not to belittle the amazing work Dark Horse did for the comic universe.) With Disney owning both Marvel and Star Wars, it makes sense to keep it all in the family. Now, all the comics coming out of this Mavel/ Star Wars partnership are considered current canon so this blurb could technically belong in the New Expanded Universe column. But comic books are an entity in and of themselves. I love comic books, but have a hard time keeping up with weekly serials. I tend to gravitate towards books or graphic novels. But if comics are your thing or you want to expand your knowledge of the SWEU, then you should start with Lando #1 which hits the racks in July.

There you go. Plenty of Star Warsian things to do while we eagerly (and patiently) wait for December to roll around.

What will you be doing while you’re waiting?

Nerd in the City Book Club

The Truce at Bakura

By Kathy Tyers

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Granted, the Star Wars Expanded Universe is no longer considered cannon. But that doesn’t erase the wonderful stories that came out of it.

The Truce at Bakura picks up after Return of the Jedi. Luke is, seemingly, the last Jedi in the Galaxy. Vader is dead and everyone is trying to navigate a world without the Emperor in control. As Leia struggles to accept that Darth Vader was her father, the Rebels send out a small group to try and help the Bakurans as they are attacked by the Ssi-Ruuk, a strange new foe for the Rebellion to fight.

This is by no means a new book. It was published in 1994, but remains an excellent and fun addition to the Star Wars Expanded Universe. If you love the adventures of your favorite Rebels and can’t wait till Episode VII comes out, why not read what could have been and start reading all of the Expanded Universe. Not for any other reason than that they are great stories in the Star Wars Universe. Is there any better reason needed??

Get it here.

Guardians of the Galaxy (Spoilers abound)

Before you continue… there are spoilers in this post. So only read if you’ve already seen the movie or care not to be spoiled. You have been fairly warned!!

Seriously… I talk about stuff. And if you’re looking for a critical opinion about this film… you’ve come to the wrong place. This post is saturated with happy thoughts about it!!

To start off… I LOVED EVERY MINUTE. This was Marvel’s version of Star Wars (though have no fear, Star Wars will always win.) But an unlikely band of heroes joining forces to save the galaxy.One is a cocky ladies man, one is a furry¬†friend and hey, there’s also a kick ass female involved. Sound familiar?? Please don’t take that to be anything but me singing this movie’s praises!! Because if you at all can bring ¬†a hint of Star Wars into your film, by all means do it! It will only make you stronger.

 

The proverbial Han Solo Marvel's "Guardians of the Galaxy" Star-Lord character poster, played by Chris Pratt. Visit http://Facebook.com/GuardiansoftheGalaxy for all the news and info! Roguish good looks, a talent for theft and a cocky attitude. Chris Pratt brought everything that you could want in a leading action hero like Peter Quill. A relative unknown, unless you are an avid fan of Parks and Rec like moi, Pratt was able to come into the role with a breath of fresh air. The Guardians are no Avengers. And this works in their favor. They don’t have the moral responsibilities the Avengers have and are able to bend the rules to save the world. And Starlord as their leader, embodies what the Guardians stand for. They leave enough mystery about him for future films, who is his father? And what is he exactly?

The furry friend

Guardians Of The Galaxy: New Rocket Raccoon, Groot, And Gamora Character Posters | Comicbook.com

Rocket Raccoon, the unlikely but completely lovable character voiced by Bradley Cooper, almost stole the show. When he tears up about losing his pal, Groot, my heart strings were pulled! He is sarcastic and rough around the edges in all the right ways. But has a gooey caramel center where his heart should be and you immediately want to know more about him. Definitely a favorite.

The token girl

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I go back and forth about Zoe Saldana. Loved her in Pirates of the Caribbean, but she’s not my favorite as Uhura. But in Gamora she has found her stride. She is equal parts total bad ass and anti hero on an altruistic mission (in the end.) She respects honor and sees none in Starlord at the beginning, making her the only one in the bunch with moral high ground. You can always sense when a love story is a brewing, but James Gunn keeps it at bay and doesn’t make it a focus of their relationship. And it made it wonderful to watch!

The surprise 

Marvel's "Guardians of the Galaxy" Drax character poster, played by Dave Bautista. Visit http://Facebook.com/GuardiansoftheGalaxy for all the news and info!

Drax was so surprisingly funny to me. His literal interpretations of everything was completely hilarious. “Nothing goes over my head, because I would catch it!” Amazing!! You don’t see his humor coming, but when it does it is a delight. Drax joins the Guardians with a single purpose, to kill Ronan and eventually Thanos. Now this interpretation of Drax is a drastic difference from the comic book version. In the comic he is created to kill Thanos and in the movie, Ronan easily bests him. As a fan of the Marvel Universe, but not a comic book aficionado, this didn’t bother me in the least and to be honest, I had to be filled in about it by a nerd friend. So some might not enjoy the difference, but I think with one member of the group outweighing the strengths of the other, it creates no need for him to band together with them. So this works well on screen.

The adorable sidekick

Groot international poster for Marvel's "Guardians of the Galaxy"

I mean… what can be said about Groot. I think people are saying this is Vin Diesel’s best role because he only has 4 words in the whole movie. But the way he uses inflection to convey what he’s saying, you almost don’t even need Rocket’s Groot to English dictionary. Almost, because seeing the two best friends communicate and interact is probably my favorite part of the movie. Groot is the R2D2 to Rocket’s C3PO. And it is simply wonderful!! And Groot as a sproutling at the end of the film is so adorable I could barely handle it. I want that as a GIF to share in moments of happiness.

The starring supporting case

The rest of the cast included a who’s who of stars and nerd royalty that did not get nearly enough screen time. Marvel builds their worlds so completely that you want more and more and more. I definitely would watch an entire movie about Nebula and Gamora’s sisterhood. Dr Who’s Karen Gillan could definitely stand on her own two feet in the Marvel universe.

Not to mention John C. Reilly’s Corpsman Dey. How about a romantic comedy with him and his bright pink wife? And don’t get me started on Djimon Hounsou, that was way too little screen time for the talented Hounsou! Lee Pace was dark and evil and predictably bad, but he does it so well, you don’t even care that he’s evil for evil’s sake.

And Thanos!! I can’t wait to see where the Marvel Universe takes him and how he will come into contact with our beloved Avengers in the future. One thing I didn’t know about Thanos was that he is literally courting death (another fact I had to be filled in on.) Clearly this movie wasn’t the place to delve into that story line, but how interesting. I’d watch a whole movie about Thanos becoming Thanos and with Josh Brolin behind the face? It’d be pretty epic.

Out of all the supporting cast I think Glenn Close was the biggest star with the most useless part. She is too wonderful to be relegated to Nova. Glenn Close should be a super baddie in a future Marvel film. That was perhaps the only not glowing and wonderful thing and even so she did well with what she was given (as always!)

Benecio Del Toro’s Collector was creepy and you get the sense that there is so much more to him than we were given. And I hope that’s not the last we’ve seen of him.

 

Nerd Royalty

There were a few other familiar faces that you who love TV might recognize.

Nathan Fillion – blink and you might miss it, but Fillion makes his debut in the Marvel universe as Monstrous Inmate. (I actually blinked and completely missed it.) But he’s there. If you call yourself a nerd at all you will no doubt know him from the beloved cult classic, Firefly/ Serenity universe. If you go for more mainstream then Castle may be your poison. Either way, he definitely belongs in the Marvel Universe, one way or another.

Alexis Denisof – known for his roles on Buffy, Angel and How I Met Your Mother, Denisof plays a minor role (another blink and you’ll miss it) but he comes in as The Other, a character that also shows up in Avengers.

Michael Rooker – if you don’t watch The Walking Dead, you won’t know this man and that would be a shame. Because he is an excellent actor. While on TWD he plays a complete A-hole, here he has some redeeming qualities. And when he uses that whistle arrow thingey… how freakin cool!

Brendan Fehr – Ok, those of you who weren’t 18 in 2001 may not be as excited to see this face, but when I was a young teenager I loved a show on,what back then was known as, the WB called Roswell. And Fehr played one of the leads, Michael. But again, that one may just be exciting for me!

Sean Gunn – He may not be nerd royalty but he’ll always hold a special place in my heart as Kurt from Gilmore Girls. And as the resisdent nerd on the show, I think that garners him major nerd cred!! He plays henchman to Michael Rooker’s Yondo in Guardians and is delightful as he ever was!!

All in all, Guardians of the Galaxy is an excellent addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And with a release date already set for Guardians 2 (July 28, 2017) we are already guaranteed more rollicking Guardians fun in our future. As for me I’m gonna go see it again today, mainly cause Stan Lee told me too and whatever he says goes, am I right, nerds? We do not let the Generalissimo down!!

 

PS, stay for the credits!! If at this point you aren’t staying for the credits you may not be a nerd. In fact you may not be human. Check your Intel Pentium Processor, you big robot. Cause the tag scene is awesome and unmissable and you have now been warned!!!