Mawage

The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.

I’ll admit…when I was younger, I dreamed often and deeply of my one perfect, future wedding day. A day surrounded by friends and families and pretty colors. A day I’d have lost all the unwanted weight for. A day I’d driven all my bridesmaids crazy to get to. A day where my groom might reconsider the whole endeavor, but ultimately go through with it, cause no one calls off a wedding on the day of a wedding. It’s quite rude, you know! Ok, I didn’t actually dream of all that.

My dream wedding looked a lot more like this:

I’m not even joking! I had this “Doglass Fairbanks and Catrina Meowford” Lisa Frank design on a trapper keeper and I carried it around all the time and referenced it anytime the discussion of weddings came up. It was part of little Lizzie’s recipe for her perfect wedding day.

Ah yes…that one perfect day. Some say it’s the “happiest day of their lives.” Which used to make sense and now seems incredibly strange. I don’t think I have a “happiest day of my life.” Not because there haven’t been a plethora of happy days or because I am unmarried female. Only because I think that’s a statement best saved for the twilight of life. Lots of people get married at a young age. My parents were married when they were 22 and a lot can happen in 36+ years of marriage (including but not limited to, having a rather fantastic daughter. And also a son who is almost, but not quite as cool as said daughter. *wink!) Seeing as a wedding is only the starting point, isn’t it safe to say that a bride and groom might just be starting a life full of different sized happy days? Maybe I’m overthinking it.

But things like this lead me to think that there is too much hype about the wedding day and not enough hype about the marriage…Do you have that friend that just keeps posting her wedding photo over and over again, even though it’s, like…10 years later? And it isn’t even her anniversary or anything? We get it, JOAN! You’re unhappy and want to remember the good times! Find a recent picture of your happiness already or make a new memory. Cause…it’s getting sad!

Ok…cause all the “cool” kids are doing it. Here it is…the only living picture of me in a wedding dress…

From the years 2007 – 2012 I worked at Kleinfeld Bridal. You may not know the name of the store, but you might know the show that is filmed there, “Say Yes to the Dress.” After that I went on to work at Pronovias for a summer, another wedding atelier. I was in 14 weddings and I moonlighted as a wedding planner for a while. When you work with brides and plan their big days and hear their stories and peddle shiny, poufy, lacy concoctions…you dream of your own wedding. So little Lizzie wasn’t the only one who was planning ahead. It was as recent as 2012 when I could be caught in a wedding daydream. Goes to show how much a person can change in 5 years.

I guess I need to say this, cause there could be plenty of evidence to the contrary…but, I don’t hate weddings. I actually really enjoy them. Free food? Check! Free drinks? Check! All night dance party? CHECK!! All things I love! Add getting dressed up and great hair and you’ve got yourself a recipe for fun. And I have found enjoyment in every wedding I’ve ever been to/in. Whether I’ve been the wedding coordinator on purpose or by accident. Whether I’ve been the one lacing up the bride’s corset. Whether I’ve just gotten to sit back and watch one play out, like a holiday special of Boy Meets World. Or whether I’ve been standing right next to the bride in the dressing room, at the altar, in the bathroom 3 hours later. It’s all been a ride.

I’m just not entirely sure it’s a ride I want to take for myself. Does that get me a lot of strange looks from a lot of little old ladies…yep! Does that mean I never want to get married…nope! It just means that if I do it, it probably won’t be the “happiest day of my life.” It means that it will probably look nothing like I ever wanted it to look like when I was a kid, or when I was in my 20’s, or hell…5 years ago.

But there’s one thing that hasn’t changed, gentle reader…I still think Lisa Frank designs a helluva wedding dress…

Where are all the Princes?

Crown Prince blog Disney Princes

Crown Prince blog Disney Princes

Today I want to talk about Princes. From a young, young age, little girls are taught about the Princes. “Someday My Prince Will Come.” “Kiss a frog, you might find a prince.” I just want to ask, where are all these Princes?

Obviously America is not a monarch nation. So we don’t actually have any of the Princes over here. And while we know they do exist, what is the point of dreaming of Princes? Yes, if you dream it it can happen. Believe all things. Dream all things. I don’t believe in limiting the imagination. But I just wonder about this Prince thing. Is it purely an invention of the House of Mouse? Or have girls been dreaming of Princes for far longer than we know?

In Europe and many other nations, dreaming of Princes is definitely a valid thing. They have them over there. They’ve had them over there for a very long time. So it makes sense that little girls and little boys might dream of handsome princes. I’ve never been one to dream of Princes. Sure, I have my favorite Disney Princes (we’ll get into that later.) But it was never an actual dream of mine to marry a Prince. If the Princess Diaries and The Prince and Me taught us anything, it’s that Princessing is really hard work. I’d have to fall hard for a Prince to want to take up a crown.

But, just for fun, let’s take a look at the Princely options today’s world has to offer. These are the, as yet, unmarried Princes.

Sheikh Hamdan Bin Mohammed Bin Rashid al Maktoum of Dubai

tumblr_n7v157lMw71rkopjeo1_500.jpg
Photo courtesy of A Fangirl’s Guide to Fazza

Hussein Bin Abdullah, Crown Prince of Jordan

Prince-Abdullah-II_B7A7228_Politics__rs.jpg
Photo Courtesy of Europa Newswire

Prince Philippos of Greece and Denmark

5fc256669460ea54e166f67f3cad5dfe.jpg
Photo Courtesy of StyleCaster.com

Prince Wenzeslaus of Liechtenstein

Prince_Wenzeslaus_Of_Liechtenstein.jpg
Photo Courtesy of AWW.com.au

Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg

tumblr_m35r4plUBD1r6jme9o1_250.jpg
Photo Courtesy of RoyalWatcher.tumblr.com

Prince Albert of Thurn and Taxis

0315_albert-von-thurn-und-taxis_485x340.jpg
Photo Courtesy of Infowat.com

Prince Nicholas of Romania

tumblr_msdqwtUl8I1sy5ziyo1_500.jpg
Photo Courtesy of Tumblr.com

Prince Joachim of Belgium

Royal-Princes-Snow-White-And-The-Huntsman-05032012-05-435x580.jpg
Photo Courtesy of Examiner.com

Prince Lorenzo Borghese

285.bachelor.borghese.092506.jpg
Photo Courtesy of TheOdysseyonline.com

Prince Harry of Wales (Hubba, Hubba, if I’m being honest!)

prince-harry-birthday-battle-of-britain-09152015-lead01-600x450.jpg
Photo Courtesy of Dailymail.co.uk

Prince Azim of Brunei

Versus+Versace+Launch+Hosted+Donatella+Versace+EbLyFWrp_dnl.jpg
Photo Courtesy of Zimbio.com

Prince Royce

1401x788-475422584_darker.jpg
Photo Courtesy of RollingStone.com

Prince (Farewell!! We miss you so!)

art-Prince3-420x0.jpg
Photo Courtesy of smh.com.au

Personally, I’d pick Prince Royce out of all the Princes on this list. Which Prince would you let steal your heart?

Oh! That’s Why I’m Single!!

Last weekend my 3 girlfriends and I went out for drinks at a usual haunt that we enjoy.

One friend is married. One friend is practically engaged and one friend is single like me. She also happens to be my beautiful, nerdy roommate.

Now, to clarify, we do not go out to these places trolling for men. We are all of a similar mind in believing bars to be the worst place to meet someone of substance. We go to enjoy each other’s company. It’s not our fault that we end up always accidentally meeting jerks and weirdos!

image
Anyways… roommate and I were having a very intense conversation about how a coworker of hers thinks every character in Firefly is basically a different iteration of Han Solo and how even if that’s true, there’s nothing wrong with that because Han Solo is the archetypal dream boat and a cast full of Han Solo’s can’t be a bad thing. Then we began to categorize the things we liked best about said scruffy-looking nerf herder.
image
image
image

All of a sudden we looked over at our, very happily taken, friends only to find them being thoroughly hit on by some normal looking guys. (They ended up being jerks, normal!) The two single girls were clearly too busy talking about a galaxy far, far away to notice anything happening around us in real life. Even a few cute guys. Story of my life!

I looked at her, pushed my invisible spectacles up the bridge of my nose and said in a nerdy nasal voice, “Do you think this is why we’re single?” Her response…”Yep!”

Classic Nerd In the City!

Ok, So Where Then?

After my post about the douchey married guy, my grandmother sent me a message expressing concern for me and encouraging me not to go to bars to meet guys.

Let me assure you… I do not go to bars expecting to meet Mr. Right. I don’t even expect to meet Mr. Nice. But you never know.

Which led me to comtemplate… where is a 21st-century city girl supposed to meet a nice, nornal, attractive, available, straight man?

When my grandmother was a young woman in the mid 20th century it was easier. The world was smaller. You met a man at school or church or down the street.

I’m no longer in school so that isn’t an option. Church would be ideal but 5 years at The Journey Church and still nothing to write home about except for some exceptional men who are already married. The down-the-street idea is romantic but literally doesn’t exist in NYC. Knowing a neighbor is rare enough. For that neighbor to be a tall, attractive, single male… well, it’s just not likely.

Which leaves the online dating option. Been there, tried that and the guys online can be just as douchey as the guys in the bars except without the excuse of alcohol.

The gym breeds obsessive hard bodies. And as interested as I am in being healthy and staying relatively fit, I could not be considered a health nut or particularly hard of body. So once again… dead end.

Add to all that the fact that the first date is a non-entity thanks to social media: facebook, twitter and dating profiles, and it becomes nearly impossible to meet a nice, normal man to believe in and date.

And don’t forget that I’m a nerdy girl. So to find that socially adjusted, , brave, nerdy man is even harder. (There’s a whole separate list of where to meet those men to come.)

I’m constantly on the lookout but not the pursuit. I kind of think that when the time is right that Mr. Right will somehow sense it and come running.
Until then I choose to enjoy life and the crazy stupid circumstances I so often find myself in. I can’t say it hasn’t been entertaining.

And if I ever figure out exactly where all those good men are hiding in NYC, then ladies… I will let you know!