Siri: helpful tool or primitive Cylon?

If you have yet to watch the Syfy 2004 reboot of Battlestar Galactica, well, shame on you, what are you waiting for and awww, poor thing, all at once!!

Basically humans develop technology to such a level that it begins developing further on its own. It eventually becomes sentient and indistinguishable from human beings. Leading to the destruction of the 13 colonies and a pilgrimage of the remaining population to Earth, the fabled promised land.

Now I’m all for technology. GPS is brilliant, MP3′s are magical and Angry Birds is pure genius. But a phone that talks back to me? Too much!!

Yeah, I want an iPhone as much as the next person, but I’ll stick to the lowly little 4G. Although i’m pretty convinced that it’s just as smart and could kill me in my sleep. It just wouldn’t talk me through the whole thing. And do not get me started on the Droid! Sure R2D2 was a lovable rogue, but there are just as many droids out there that would just as soon shoot out your eyeballs! And hello… ever watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. Does the name Lore ring any bells? He was an android and he joined forces with the Borg who are… surprise… technologically boosted super baddies!

And ok, so the classic tale of human vs. robot is pure fiction (at this point) but so was electricity before Ben Franklin, landing on the moon before NASA and talking phones before Apple.

So just be careful. Enjoy your super-advanced technology for what it is. Cause one day your e-book will stand on it’s own two feet, believe in God and wear a slutty red dress. You’ve been warned.

Subway PDA: public menace or personal weight loss program?

Let me start by saying that I am joyously, happily single. And glad to be so. So just know, right off the bat, that Public Displays of Affection DO NOT illicit feelings of jealousy, envy or longing in me. But rather the intense feeling of my just eaten meal resurfacing in my throat. Seriously, I’m gonna start bringing a paper bag with me on the train. I could be losing weight like a champ!

Tonight on the J train home from the city, I had the misfortune to sit down across from a young 20-something couple. Her legs draped over and through his. Her head tucked into his shoulder. Hands intertwined. They looked like a damn pretzel. I could barely tell where he ended and she began. And as if that wasn’t enough, they proceeded to nuzzle noses. Let me say that again… nuzzle noses. (insert gagging noises here)

I got up in my very best and polite, I’m-looking-for-the-subway-map and not-trying-to-run-away-from-you-creeps kind of way.

Only to sit down across from another 20-something couple doing almost the same thing, but on a slightly less nauseating level. (She only had one leg draped through his. And they weren’t nuzzling noses. How modest of them!)

In situations like this one all I want to do is yell, “THIS IS NOT YOUR BEDROOM, ‘FRIEND.’ Nor is it a romantic comedy.” Because to be honest unless you are Matthew McConaugheyJames Marsden or Patrick Dempsey and (insert America’s current sweetheart here) I don’t wanna see it!

So… To all the 20-something couples out there. LOCK IT UP! At least on the subway. For stomachs the world over.

The 3rd Type

Alright… so there’s a third type. And I’d be derelict in my research duties if I didn’t mention them. This group I like to call the Cat-Callers, the Horn-Honkers, the kind of guy that thinks the simple act of me walking by in no more than a burlap sack warrants such comments as “Hey girl, I wish I was a monster so I could eat you” or at 11 o’ clock at night says to me “Hey Princess, I just wanna get to know ya.”

This kind of man cares not what’s in my head, or what I truly love. They care not whether I love Star Wars or Dancing with the Stars. They barely even care what I look like. The mere fact that I own my very own set of breasts and pair of legs is enough for these… sub humans.

I would tell you exactly where this group of men could go… but my mother reads this blog so you’ll just have to fill in the blanks. But I’ll give you a hint… it’s pretty hot down there.

Nice Nerds finish last

You may not be aware of this paradox. A pretty, socially adjusted, nerdy girl. If you find such an animal… approach with caution. For we are easily spooked.

The challenge facing such a unicorn is that a male counterpart is rare and hard to find. And much like the search for Big Foot or The Loch Ness Monster it is a pursuit that requires devotion and discernment. The funny thing, is that people always say things like “Guys must love you” or “I bet the guys go crazy.” And yet… I see no evidence of this. Trust me I’ve done my research! I’m nothing if not thorough.

So, here are my findings… There are 2 kinds of men. Nerds and the rest of you. You know which category you fall into!

For the latter, if we were, say, on a date and I started waxing poetic about:

David Tennant And Matt Smith To Appear Together On The Graham Norton Show

David Tennant vs. Matt Smith…

55cb0608a8f922ab6cc8684964004295

or the various forms of lightsaber combat…

Cylon!  Reboot centurion

or how much I truly believe that Siri is a primitive form of Cylon… you’re eyes would start to glaze over. And the look I’d get would be one of utter confusion and fear.

For the former, we would never even get to a first date, much less an opening line, because you’d be too afraid to talk to me, but would secretly be in awe of my knowledge of say…

the Millenium Falcon schematics…

Ferengi

 or just how many Rules of Acquisition there are. (285 if you care to know!)

I am not the only unicorn in existence. We do exist!! So for the nerds out there remember, we’re just like you, only prettier. And for the others… if you don’t have a basic understanding of which order to watch the Star Wars saga… I’m not interested.

February 10th: The Phantom Menace in 3D

In 1999 when Star Wars: The Phantom Menace came out, I was a sophomore in high school. I was also even more obsessed with Star Wars than I am now, if that’s at all possible. So the entire 2 years leading up to the release was spent reading Star Wars Insider and waiting for trailers to come out. And at the midnight showing my friends, family and I were first in line. (Well… second in line… there’s always a bigger nerd.)

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it… I LOVED IT. Was it vastly inferior to the original trilogy? Yes! Do I despise Jar-Jar Binks along with everyone else over 25? Sure. Do I wish that it was as good as the plot of The Old Republic? Yes. Am I giddy at the thought of seeing it on the big screen again and in 3D no less? Absolutely.

It’s Star Wars. And I love it. So come tomorrow night at 12:01am I will be sitting at the theater in Union Square watching it with what I can only assume will be my sophomore self’s raw enthusiasm! That beloved galaxy far, far away deserves no less.

Pics

Here are the pics from Star Wars Christmas. Last time I posted, my computer was not being my friend. But we made up and now it likes me again. So without further ado I present… STAR WARS CHRISTMAS!!!

Me as Queen Amidala in front of the green screen
Another of me
Here's mom as Aunt Beru
Dad won the costume contest for his AT-ST costume. Rightfully so!!
My granny, the Imperial Guard.
Uncle Bruce's Boba Fett
My brother Doug
My cousin Sterling and her fiancee Wes in what I like to call the perfect engagement photo!!
My brother and his wife: Admiral Ackbar and a Bothan.
Aunt Beck's festive take on Yoda
Grandma's fancy interpretation of Mon Mothma
Uncle Lint as Obi Wan
All the cousins.
Group shot!!

 

 

Thanks to Uncle Lint for the photos and all the digital work!! These take time and talent. He has it!

A Full Accounting of Eastbank Family Christmas: Star Wars Edition

As previously mentioned, in my family, we celebrate with a bit more pizazz than your average Joe. We vote the previous year on what our theme will be. This year was Star Wars. The ultimate theme. All of us have a pretty even love of it. (Except my Grandma, but even she got in the spirit) Then throughout the year we all individually research who we want to be and start claiming characters. This process can be viewed at www.sterlinghutchinson.com/christmas

When it comes to the day itself we all show up to my Granny’s house in full costume and resume Christmas as usual. Including breakfast, stockings, presents, pictures and videos in front of the green screen and a new tradition… the singing of the themed carols. Yours truly penned a few Star Wars Christmas Carols. ie: “Leia, It’s Cold Outside”  “God Rest Ye Merry Stormtroopers” “O Jedi Knight” and countless others.

This year we had some extra joiners. Non family members who were just interested in the phenomenon and wanted to be apart of it. So take a look at the photos here and if you’d like to join next year just remember two things: 1. The theme is going to be Lord of the Rings and 2. Costumes are not a suggestion… they are mandatory!

Twachtman Family Christmas

Christmas is swiftly approaching. For many this means decking the halls, trimming the tree, shopping for gifts, planning the holiday meals, booking travel, etc. This is all true for my family as well. But most importantly for us is preparing our Christmas costumes.

Past family Christmas themes have included Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia. But this year is the piece de resistance. STAR WARS!! Which means lightsabers, Star Wars Christmas Carols, green screen photos, and so much more!!

Long has our family had a deep and abiding love for the Star Wars universe and last year’s voting reflected that love. It’s my favorite series of movies and it binds our family together!!

Here comes my dilemma. So little time, so much to sew!! I’ve chosen to be Queen Amidala from Episode I: The Phantom Menace. The celebration costume at the end of the movie to be specific

So as I rush to finish in time for the big family Christmas celebration taking place on December 23rd, make sure to check back and see my progress.

Also check out our website for a more comprehensive accounting of the Twachtman Family Christmas shennanigans!!! http://www.sterlinghutchinson.com/Christmas.html

Nerd in the City: Book Club

Ready Player One

If you have not yet read Ernest Cline‘s latest novel, Ready Player One, well what’s stopping you. It’s a fantastic mix of The Matrix, Back to the Future 2 and World of Warcraft. Chock full of 80’s nostalgia and thrilling action!!!

I so thoroughly enjoyed it that I’ve read it twice since purchasing it 2 months ago. Yeah… it’s that good!!!

Lessons I Learned from NY Comic Con 2011

Lesson 3: I’m not the only Lady Nerd out there!!!

Marvel‘s: Women of Marvel panel was truly excellent!! The panel consisted of Sara Pichelli (@sara_pichelli,) Marjorie Liu (@marjoriemliu,) Jeanine Schaefer (@j9schaefer,) Kelly Sue DeConnick (@kellysue,) Sana Amanat (@miniB622,) and Lauren Sankovitch (@PancakeLady.)  Sorry if I missed anyone.

They tackled topics such as gender discriminations in the work place, the traditional objectification of women in comic books and how they handle the day to day awesomeness of working in the comic book industry.

Long has the comic book industry and the sci fi genre alike been thought of as ‘Boy’s Clubs.’ The idea that women can read comic books and enjoy sci fi, but not be fluent in geek speak is still a persistent mind set even today.

It was so refreshing to hear smart, talented, successful women share in their love of all things Geek and talk about the troubles or lack there of in breaking into that ‘Boy’s club.’

One audience member told of when she was younger, growing up with brothers, they would always make her play April from TMNT. It was like hearing my own story. I was April. I was Kimberly Hart, the Pink Power Ranger. I was Princess Leia. I was GI Joe’s girlfriend. Sure I enjoy being girly on occasion. But to tell you the truth, my favorite Ranger was Tommy, the White Ranger. And I would’ve much preferred to be Raphael from TMNT, he uses sais for Pete’s sake!!

Not many of my girlfriends up here in New York are Lady Nerds like me. I usually have to talk with the boys about the new Avengers movie. Or about  the release of The Old Republic. These women gave me hope and showed me that no… I’m not alone in the nerdiverse and in actuality, if we wanted to, Lady Nerds could rule the world!! Sign me up!

Ready to rule!
A group of Power Rangers with Oscar the Grouch.
The Avengers booth was consistently packed.
The line was too long for me to sample the game, but I can't wait!
May the Force be with you.
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