Window Washing

Needless to say, I don’t like crying. I never have. The feeling of utter vulnerability is completely unappealing to me. And yet when a powerful moment comes along that brings me to tears, sometimes I hit repeat and hold onto it. Perhaps I hold on sometimes because these moments are few and far between for me.

The truth is that I’m much better at NOT crying. I’ve learned to cry when I’m alone. I’ve learned how to keep my emotions in check and only show the stiff upper lip. There is no instance I can point to that caused this to be the way I handle emotion. There is no tragic instance that dried up all future tears or told me that crying is weakness. It’s just how I feel.

So then, why is The Giving Tree my favorite children’s book? Why do I watch episodes of The Office (Niagra: Part 2, Goodbye Michael and Garage Sale) that I know will make me cry? Why did I create an entire playlist on Spotify called “Sometimes I Cry?” Why on Earth did I listen to “It’s Quiet Uptown” from Hamilton the Musical on repeat at least 12 times in a row, bringing on hard core, inevitable tears while writing this very blog post?  (Fair warning, if you choose to go listen to “It’s Quiet Uptown” do so at your own tearful risk. It is hauntingly beautiful!!) I listened to that track more than any other track on the album and yet it was the only one that made me cry. Crying…the thing I hate doing. Why would these things that bring tears become my favorites? It doesn’t make any sense at all.

My friend, Chelsea, always used to tell me, “Crying is not a weakness, Lizzie. Crying washes the windows of our souls. And sometimes we just need those windows washed.”

Window Washing quote from friend Chelsea blog post

Perhaps that’s why these things that make me cry become my favorites. Perhaps the powerful act of allowing my proverbial “windows” to be washed is far more meaningful and memorable than so many other moments that fly by without being marked. Because I can tell you the times I’ve cried. I can tell you about the times I’ve fallen apart. I can tell you about the time at church when I ran for a place away from everyone to cry and found a friend who sat by me and didn’t say a word. Or the time in my basement apartment in New York, when I felt so alone and let myself cry and was reminded that God was there with me, even when no one else physically was.

Chelsea always encouraged me to wash my windows, but I would always respond, “No Chelsea, crying is so stupid. I’ll cry when I’m home…alone. Where no one can see. It’s better that way.”

Plus, I hate washing my soul windows because when I cry I tend look more like James Van Der Beek crying…

Dawson Leery crying gif blog post

When I wish I could look more like Johnny Depp and his gentle, tear-streaked cry face…

Johnny Depp crying face gif blog post

Or maybe Jensen Ackles’ beautiful, beautiful cry face…

Jensen Ackles Supernatural cry face gif blog post

But at the end of the day, I want to write things that evoke powerful emotion. (Ugly cry face or not!) I want to connect with you, reader! I want you to be able to look through my windows, not wonder what’s inside this darkened building. I can’t help but feel that until I allow those windows to get cleaned more often, then whatever emotional blog posts I can give will tinged with an air of falsehood. And that is NOT what I want. So I listen again to “It’s Quiet Uptown” and I wash those windows clean. Cleaner than they’ve ever been, maybe. Cleaner than they’ll ever be again…I hope not. I’ve never been good at deep cleaning! But I am a fast learner!

5 Fandom Friday

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Favorite Halloween Episodes of TV Shows

#1: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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A strong argument could be made for any of the 3 Buffy Halloween episodes. All are wonderful in their own right. But me…I prefer Fear, Itself from season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You cannot deny the brilliance of Anya dressing as the scariest thing she can imagine…
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#2: FRIENDS
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Chandler and Monica throw an episode Halloween party. Phoebe finds out her sister Ursula is getting married and Ross dresses as “spud-nik.” Accordingly… hijinks ensue!!

#3: The Office
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Michael Scott may very well be one of my favorite characters on television. Possibly the favorite. So The Office deserves it’s place on the list!

#4: Modern Family
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The Dunphy’s love Halloween so their Halloween eps are always EPic…see what I did there. 😉

#5: Parks and Recreation
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And bringing up the end of the list is Parks and Recreation. Ben and Leslie (one of my favorite TV couples) dresses as Wesley and Princess Buttercup from The Princess Bride and it is just glorious. If you’ve never seen it…you should.

What episodes are your favorite to watch on Halloween??

5 Fandom Friday

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My 13 Fictional BFF’s

As all of my real life, non-fictional friends will know, I’m a very social person. And I love friends. I love to surround myself with people who are smarter and prettier and just all around better than me. It makes me a better person. It gives me something to aspire to. 5 fictional BFF’s seems mean cause so many fictional friends will get left out. So in honor of Friday the 13th, I will choose 13 BFF’s instead. Seems a more realistic number. Thanks to The Nerdy Girlie and Super Space Chick for the topic!!

I’ve decided not to explain each choice, cause they all really make perfect sense!!

#1– Jim Halpert from The Office

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#2– Judy Greer (basically from anything she’s ever been in!!)

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#3- Mindy Lahiri from The Mindy Project

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#4- John Watson from Sherlock

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#5- Xander Harris from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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#6- Chewbacca from Star Wars

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#7- Tom Branson from Downton Abbey

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#8– Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones

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#9– Joey Tribbiani from Friends

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#10– Annabeth Nass from Hart of Dixie

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#11- Jimmy Olsen from Superman

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#12- Rubeus Hagrid from Harry Potter

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#13- The Flash aka Barry Allen from The Flash

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Ok, I admit some of these (1, 4, 5, 7, 9 & 13) were chosen to be fictional BFF’s that eventually turn into boyfriends forever, cause they are wonderful!! But can you blame me!!!

San Diego Coverage

Happy Comic Con week, my lovely nerds.

Sorry to be absent from the blog-o-sphere, but I’ve been working on a little project. Hope to show it to you soon.

In the meantime, Comic Con is upon us. And sadly I will not be making it to Nerd HQ  this year, but some of my lovely nerd friends will be reporting back from the scene in San Diego. Specifically the happenings at Nerd HQ.

Meet the crew:

Thursday Coverage

 

Mels loves The Walking Dead, Supernatural, Firefly, Star Trek, Orphan Black and more!

Follow her on Twitter @MelsLien

Friday Coverage 

 

Taylor is a Disnerd who also loves Dr. Seuss, The Office, The Hunger Games and more!

Follow her on Twitter @tellerdee

Saturday Coverage 

Josh’s main love is Star Wars, but he also loves Indiana Jones, Battlestar Gallactica and the writings of C.S. Lewis.

Follow him on Twitter @Loud_Josh

Sunday Coverage

 

Jordan loves Harry Potter, all things Marvel, Doctor Who, Disney and more.

Follow her on Twitter @jjkeebs

Jenn can’t get enough Sherlock, Chuck, Lord of the Rings or The Princess Bride (and more of course.)

Follow her on Twitter @JennOC7

 

There may even be a few other nerds on the scene!

Be sure to follow all of these nerds as they work to support The Nerd Machine and their efforts on behalf of Operation Smile. And if you are in San Diego for SDCC make sure to head over to Petco Park and check out the HQ, you won’t be sorry!!

Tearful Goodbye

Last night was the series finale of The Office. And It was a beautiful goodbye.

It had everything you could want from a finale. Happy endings, reunions with old friends (wink, wink), and a look back at the years past. In this case, the 9 years The Office spent on the air.

I realized something last night. More episodes of this show have brought me to tears than any other series on television. In fact it’s probably brought more tears from me than my own life has.

But that’s what happens when something sweet and beautiful touches your heart. Even if that thing is just a little television show about a bunch of office workers’ loves, lives and losses.

The stories of Michael, Jim, Pam, Dwight, Oscar, Angela, Kevin, Creed, Meredith, Ryan, Kelly, Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Andy and Erin had their highs and lows. But at the heart, it was great story telling and I will miss tuning in on Thursday nights.

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I couldn’t envision a more fitting goodbye. So well done writers, cast and crew of The Office. And thank you for keeping this nerd in tears!

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