#PrincessBootCamp – Rapunzel Meal Plan

Princess Boot Camp Rapunzel Week Disney Fitness Blog
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Rapunzel is a young girl who was taken from her family as a baby and raised by an evil woman in a tower. She is a hopeful dreamer who thinks that there must be something beyond the borders of her little tower. She is a trusting, happy soul who never once stops to question why she has to stay in the tower in the first place.

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This week, we are focusing on Rapunzel as represented by Disney Studios in Tangled. If you are unfamiliar with the original, more gruesome version…look it up. That is not the one we are focusing on, but it’s interesting to read the original fairytales and wonder, how in the world Disney saw the happy, romance in such cautionary tales? I pose that question to you.

But aside from that, we are talking Rapunzel. She of the impossibly long and enchanted hair. For our meal plan this week, we’re getting creative. This is probably a province of England, though no one has accents…so choosing a menu based on region proves a little more difficult this week. Instead we are focusing on foods that are inspired by the movie Tangled and foods particularly helpful in promoting healthy hair growth.

Here’s our shopping list this week:

-angel hair pasta (get it!)

-flaxseed (great addition to smoothies and yogurts)

-Fruits (blackberries, apples, strawberries, etc.)

-Spinach and/or Kale

-Brussel Sprouts and Green Beans

-grilled Chicken, pork and/or beef

-Hazelnut Soup (Rapunzel’s favorite)

-beans and nuts (for extra sources of protein)

Like I said, this shopping list is a little more whimsical than the other princesses. I hope you enjoy it!

Mawage

The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.

I’ll admit…when I was younger, I dreamed often and deeply of my one perfect, future wedding day. A day surrounded by friends and families and pretty colors. A day I’d have lost all the unwanted weight for. A day I’d driven all my bridesmaids crazy to get to. A day where my groom might reconsider the whole endeavor, but ultimately go through with it, cause no one calls off a wedding on the day of a wedding. It’s quite rude, you know! Ok, I didn’t actually dream of all that.

My dream wedding looked a lot more like this:

I’m not even joking! I had this “Doglass Fairbanks and Catrina Meowford” Lisa Frank design on a trapper keeper and I carried it around all the time and referenced it anytime the discussion of weddings came up. It was part of little Lizzie’s recipe for her perfect wedding day.

Ah yes…that one perfect day. Some say it’s the “happiest day of their lives.” Which used to make sense and now seems incredibly strange. I don’t think I have a “happiest day of my life.” Not because there haven’t been a plethora of happy days or because I am unmarried female. Only because I think that’s a statement best saved for the twilight of life. Lots of people get married at a young age. My parents were married when they were 22 and a lot can happen in 36+ years of marriage (including but not limited to, having a rather fantastic daughter. And also a son who is almost, but not quite as cool as said daughter. *wink!) Seeing as a wedding is only the starting point, isn’t it safe to say that a bride and groom might just be starting a life full of different sized happy days? Maybe I’m overthinking it.

But things like this lead me to think that there is too much hype about the wedding day and not enough hype about the marriage…Do you have that friend that just keeps posting her wedding photo over and over again, even though it’s, like…10 years later? And it isn’t even her anniversary or anything? We get it, JOAN! You’re unhappy and want to remember the good times! Find a recent picture of your happiness already or make a new memory. Cause…it’s getting sad!

Ok…cause all the “cool” kids are doing it. Here it is…the only living picture of me in a wedding dress…

From the years 2007 – 2012 I worked at Kleinfeld Bridal. You may not know the name of the store, but you might know the show that is filmed there, “Say Yes to the Dress.” After that I went on to work at Pronovias for a summer, another wedding atelier. I was in 14 weddings and I moonlighted as a wedding planner for a while. When you work with brides and plan their big days and hear their stories and peddle shiny, poufy, lacy concoctions…you dream of your own wedding. So little Lizzie wasn’t the only one who was planning ahead. It was as recent as 2012 when I could be caught in a wedding daydream. Goes to show how much a person can change in 5 years.

I guess I need to say this, cause there could be plenty of evidence to the contrary…but, I don’t hate weddings. I actually really enjoy them. Free food? Check! Free drinks? Check! All night dance party? CHECK!! All things I love! Add getting dressed up and great hair and you’ve got yourself a recipe for fun. And I have found enjoyment in every wedding I’ve ever been to/in. Whether I’ve been the wedding coordinator on purpose or by accident. Whether I’ve been the one lacing up the bride’s corset. Whether I’ve just gotten to sit back and watch one play out, like a holiday special of Boy Meets World. Or whether I’ve been standing right next to the bride in the dressing room, at the altar, in the bathroom 3 hours later. It’s all been a ride.

I’m just not entirely sure it’s a ride I want to take for myself. Does that get me a lot of strange looks from a lot of little old ladies…yep! Does that mean I never want to get married…nope! It just means that if I do it, it probably won’t be the “happiest day of my life.” It means that it will probably look nothing like I ever wanted it to look like when I was a kid, or when I was in my 20’s, or hell…5 years ago.

But there’s one thing that hasn’t changed, gentle reader…I still think Lisa Frank designs a helluva wedding dress…

Used Cows and Crumpled Flowers

Let’s talk about sex.

A very personal topic, to be sure.

And I’ll be straight with you, internet. I’ve never had it. I didn’t have it on prom night or experiment in college. I didn’t have a Bradshaw-esque one night stand in New York City or make a really bad drunken decision. (Well, that’s not true. Bad decisions were made and alcohol was involved, but still…no sex.) I didn’t have a long term boyfriend who I wanted to share that with. And through a series of events, romantic missteps and my own personal choices I have kept my V-card. Sometimes not for lack of trying to change that status, to be even more honest with you (why stop now.)

Most of the time it’s been a decisive choice I’ve made not to share that with another person. But I have to tell you…the literature out there (Bible notwithstanding) is quite poor on reasons why a man or woman may choose to not have sex before they’re ready, interested, married, old enough, smart enough…the list of reasons goes on. And the advice about having it isn’t any better!

Let’s start with the worst advice out there and work our way through it!

“If he’s tastes the milk, he won’t buy the cow.”

Let’s keep being honest here…boys aren’t being told that they are cows that have to protect their milk. The double standard surrounding sex has been around for a very long time. Women wear white on their wedding day to signal the purity coming to the marriage bed…where’s that declaration from the groom? Not only is it nowhere to be found…it’s frowned upon for a young man to be sexually pure after a “certain age.” And women? Well, we cows have to protect our milk or no respectable man will want to…buy us? Who thought this was a healthy narrative regarding sexuality? I’m not sure when this phrase was born, but I know it’s long past time for this one to die out! And yep, I’ve had had someone tell me this before!!

“If you have sex your ‘flower’ will get crumpled.”

I think the TV show ‘Jane the Virgin’ handled this one really well. But for real…virginity is not a flower. It is not something that can be trampled or crumpled by consensual sex with another human being. There are plenty of ways that sex can go wrong. But deciding to have it is not the end of your world and you certainly shouldn’t be made to feel like a tossed gardenia after making such a choice. And what about people who didn’t make a choice to have sex…are they damaged goods too? Think about how harmful that phrase is to someone who has been raped!!

“You should wait because of the other person.”

This has always been one of my least favorite reasons to wait. Personally, I don’t want a pregnancy scare…I don’t want STD’s…and I don’t want the emotional attachment that comes with having sex (no matter what anyone says to the contrary) and all that has nothing to do with some imaginary future partner that I am definitely not waiting around to find. So the idea that a pivotal life decision should be made for anyone other than me, myself and I is just as absurd as the idea that I’m a prized cow with precious milk that needs protecting.

“Lady in the street, freak in the bed.”

Let’s not pretend that conservatives who believe in waiting for marriage are the only ones who’ve mishandled information about sex. The liberal side hasn’t done a great job either. The idea that a women should be one thing when you meet her and another thing when you sleep with her is ludicrous. And are men supposed to be gentlemen in streets, but turn into animals in the sack? This one is silly at best and dangerous at worst. If I’m a lady in the street, then you take me home and I Fatal Attraction you…is that supposed to be sexy? And what about those of us who are what you see? Yeah…I say no to this one!!

Look…sex is a messy topic. (This much we can all agree on.) And parents, pastors, teachers, politicians, news anchors, celebrities, liberals, conservatives…everyone has a hard time talking about it. I can’t blame them for that. I have a hard time talking about it too. Writing this post about sex on a blog that my friends and family read…uncomfortable. But it’s important and what I want to do is share with you what I wish had been shared with me when I was younger.

Here’s the really personal part…another reason I’ve never had sex is because it terrifies me. Can you blame me? I can’t let my flower wilt! I can’t let the milk spoil! I can’t lose my purity because that scares the “good guys” away! And even if I decided I wanted to have sex, I have to be one thing when a guy meets me and another thing when it gets intimate.

Here’s what I think…since you came all the way over here to my mind palace…Sex is good, great, exciting, WONDERFUL! I believe God made sex. I think it’s ok to want to have sex. The when, the why, the how… that changes from person to person. And if you are religious, then your beliefs may play a very important role in your decision making process (mine do!) One of the most important parts is that the people involved in the decision to have it are on the same page and should agree about having it. And above all else, we as a society should stop using phrases involving cows, flowers and freaks to describe it. Enough already!

For the love of all that is good…we have to change the way we talk about sex for future generations. We just have to!

Online Dating

It was my first foray back into the “wonderful world of online dating.” Actually, it was my re-introduction to dating after a very long time…period. And boy, was I rusty!

I flexed my dating muscles by downloading 2 of the most popular dating apps: Tinder and Bumble. Basically the same thing in different clothes. The Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde of dating apps, if you will.

 

Bumble dating app nerd bloggerDr. Jekyl…the seemingly normal, mild-mannered better half, who promises some semblance of humanity, but is secretly cooking up serums to hide the evil within.

Tinder dating app blog post

Mr. Hyde…the maniacal other half, not even bothering to hide in the shadows while it’s “nice guy” exterior is shed to reveal the inner beast!

In truth, neither app is to be trusted. And if you’ve ever had a good experience on one of these apps…more power to you, but you are the exception, not the rule!

But out of all the recommendations I was getting for online dating (and there were plenty) these were the two I decided to try. There was very little commitment to jump in and the minimalistic profiles appealed to me.

One of the things I hate most about online dating sites is the lengthy amount of information you’re given to sift through about a person all before ever meeting them face to face. And let’s be honest, some people may not look great on paper, but have great personalities. And some may look stellar on paper, but are rubbish in person. It’s a crap shoot.

So I had high hopes that at the very least, it was going to be a worthy social experiment.

IT WAS NOT!

I got ghosted by 2 separate men. One of whom I’m still not sure if he stood me up or if I stood him up. The other who asked a question, which I attempted to answer, then dropped the mic and never followed up. Why ask in the first place??

But the pièce de résistance has to be Ben. Ben was a Hyde in Jekyl clothing. Seemingly nice, unassuming, had been hurt by love and was looking to move on.

This is how the whole thing went down with Ben…

-A couple texts back and forth

-Interest was piqued

-Ben suggests we go for a hike in the woods

-I suggest a less secluded location (I’m not about to get human trafficked!)

-Reluctantly Ben agrees

-We make plans to walk around Park Avenue and get some ice cream

-Ben asks what I’ll be wearing….then offers “helpful” suggestions as to what i might consider as an option…

“How about stilettos, teased hair and a leather studded jacket?”

Yep, you read that right. Ben suggested I dress as Sandy from Grease, but not Sandy as she normally dressed throughout the whole of the movie. Sandy at the end of the movie, when feeling as though she isn’t “bad girl” enough for Danny Zuko dresses in stilettos, teased hair and a leather studded jacket to make sure she doesn’t lose her man!

Grease Sandy online dating blog post

This, ladies and gentlemen, was the actual suggestion Ben made to me. Because who wouldn’t want to show up on a date looking like that. Wonder if he was planning to show up in a letterman’s jacket or T-birds jacket.

We’ll never know because that was the end of that. I texted back saying I was not interested in going on the date, wished him well and blocked his number. I don’t ghost people, but I also don’t go on dates I no longer want to go on!!

Maybe you think the reaction to his suggestion a bit extreme, but it says a lot about what he thinks about women. And…no thank you!

After a couple other missteps on these apps, I decided enough was enough and deleted both of them. What I thought was going to be a fun experience turned out to be more excruciating than I was willing to put up with.

I was under the misconception that these dating apps would take you out of the text conversation hell hole that other sites put you in. But it just ended up being question after question with no follow through. Not to mention the number of guys who wanted boob shots and extra photos of me. I can only imagine what they would have done with the pictures if I’d had a much lower self esteem and had sent them.

Faith in humanity was at an all time low after this experience. But it did teach me a valuable lesson about online dating, or specifically these apps that promote a culture of hooking up and one night stands…it’s not for me.

Star Wars Day

Taking a little detour from #TheBradshawChallenge momentarily to talk about Star Wars Day! May the 4th Be With You…always!! But especially today!

Let’s talk about ways you can celebrate!

1. Star Wars Marathon

This is the most ideal way to celebrate the day. But since the 4th falls on a Thursday this year, staying home and binge-watching Star Wars movies while eating a box of Wookie Cookies can be a little hard to accomplish. So maybe just choose your most favorite Star Wars movie and watch that today. My favorite is Return of the Jedi, so I will be watching that when I have a moment after work tonight!

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2. Rep Your Fandom

Another great way to celebrate today is to wear your fandom gear all day long! Here are some of my favorite Star Wars outfits as well as what I decided to wear today!

Today’s outfit:

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Other favorite Star Wars outfits:

styled by Star Wars Beep Boop Beep Clothing fblogger

Styled by Star Wars fblogger Her Universe

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3. Get in a Debate

Do you have anyone at work, at home, at the grocery story that likes Star Wars? Get in a debate with them. Say something about how much you love the prequels or that you think Jar Jar Binks isn’t the antichrist! That will kick start a quick conversation with any super fans in the vicinity and maybe make a new friend (or enemy depending on what you say!!)

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4. Spread the Love

A great way to decipher if someone is a true fan and potential new friend is to offer them the official greeting that must be said on Star Wars Day “May the 4th Be With You.” If someone says this to you, make sure to respond properly and to listen for those that do as well which is, of course… “And also with you!”

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5. Star Wars Book Club

Star Wars book club on Goodreads nerd blogger

Shameless plug coming up. If you are interested in going deeper into the Star Wars Expanded Universe, then my Star Wars Book Club is exactly what you should discover today on Star Wars Day. Head over the Goodreads and see what we’ve already read and what we are planning to read and jump in as you’d like. This month’s book is Thrawn by the incomparable Timothy Zahn.

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6. Tweet, Like, Meme, Gif, Post, Gram, Tumble, etc.

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Today is a day to embrace the social media juggernaut. Jump in with all you have and get involved in the inevitable fan fest that happens across all social media platforms today. What’s your favorite Star Wars Movie, tell me on Twitter? Do you have a favorite meme, share it with me on Instagram? Looking for someone to engage in step 3 with, connect with me on Facebook…I can debate the virtues of Hayden Christensen all day long!!

Don’t fight it. Join me!!
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7. Go Shopping

Today is a great day to have a little Star Wars shopping spree. Plenty of shops are having specials today in honor of Star Wars Day. Here are some of my favorite places to procure Star Wars merch… Her Universe, Beep Boop Beep Clothing, Think Geek, my local Goodwill and Salvation Army, Disney Store, and Etsy.

There are so many other way to celebrate Star Wars Day too. What are you doing today??

And May the 4th Be With You!

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& The City

It’s been almost 2 years since I moved away from New York City. Some days it feels like just yesterday that I was walking the concrete jungle and trying to find my way in the city of dreams. And other days, the whole 8+ years I lived there feel themselves, like a dream. I haven’t been back since a whirlwind visit last year for a friend’s wedding.

Not for lack of wanting too, it’s just the timing hasn’t worked out. And to be honest, I feel like a part of me never wants to go back. What if I remember how much I loved it and I want to stay? What if I have another anxiety attack like my first time back after moving? New York was such a roller coaster city for me. I’m sure I’m not alone in that.

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No matter how I feel about the Big Apple or why I had to move away, I still consider it home. I’ve blogged about this before, but I found myself in New York City. I became a writer. I started this blog there. I created my web series there. I was bold and I was creative and the thing that makes New York…NEW YORK, somehow ended up making me…ME!!

You can’t deny that there’s something about New York that can bring out our inner angels…or demons. New York forces you to be yourself…”after all, everyone else is taken.” Isn’t that how the quote goes?

The truth is…I miss New York. Maybe not the winters…I’ll always be happier in the sun. But I miss the pace. I miss walking 47 blocks after work on a Wednesday, just because. I miss sushi delivered at midnight and brunching all day with friends. I miss cab rides (who thought that would happen.) I miss my friends. Sometimes, when I’m delirious, I even miss dating in New York…though not too much!

I’m excited to return to the City. I want to see how it’s changed. I want to see how I’ve changed. I want to see if it still feels, even a little bit, like home. We’ll see what happens.

New York is unpredictable by nature. The only thing you can rely on is that it’s unreliable! As a hurricane, I can relate.

Today, I feel like this:2.jpg

I hope I find that who I was back then and who I am today are working together to make me who I’ll be tomorrow.

After all, I wouldn’t be me without New York or Florida or California. So…New York, I’m coming back for ya! Please be kind, I’m a little rusty!!

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On the Subject of…

High School.

Recently I have been binge watching  the, sadly, short-lived Carrie Diaries (only 2 seasons…sad face.) And like all the teen dramas I’ve enjoyed in my life (Dawson’s Creek, The OC, One Tree Hill, etc) watching it makes me feel like maybe I missed something.

I never had a first kiss in high school or a date to the  prom. My girlfriends and I never asked the good questions about sex and while I had plenty of crushes on cute boys…what’s the point if none of the boys ever knew it?

That’s not to say that there weren’t plenty of seminal moments in my high school experience. There were. But what little remains of my spotty memory of events is mixed with stories my parents told me, pictures in a yearbook and a box full of notes from people I haven’t seen in over 15 years.

Maybe teenagers these days are more self aware because of You Tube and Facebook and the internet in general. They’re creating a generation of people who are watching themselves grow up on camera…in print. Permanently, for the world to see and share. Then again, maybe it was just me. Maybe I was the only one floating along and phoning the whole experience in. I was a D student who never raised my hand and rarely spoke up in class. A far cry from the Nerd you know today!!

Looking back at those tender, wonder years I wish a piece of who I am now had been found back then. If only because maybe I could have tapped into my confident, ass-kicking, girl bossy ways much sooner. It’s not like that girl wasn’t somewhere inside me back then, waiting to break out. I was just too scared of who I could have been, of who I eventually became.

So many of these fears are explored and overcome in high school and yeah…I managed to bungle my way through some of them. But out of all the lessons I’ve watched play out on these teeny bopper, baby mama dramas, I have to say (lamentably) it’s the things of a more romantical nature that I really missed out on the most in high school.

 

I was a bit of a late bloomer in that area…in fact, I’ll let you know when that actually happens. Because I still get crushes on boys that never know about it. Needless to say…I missed a lot of things that would have been much easier if I’d gotten it out of the way in high school. But that’s not my story.

And, Hey!! Maybe it’s never too late to bloom.

I am where I am, who I am and what I am. And the only thing worth wondering about is…what’s next for me?

Whatever it is…I feel it coming!

For more of this month’s Instagram challenge, head over to my Instagram @nerdinthesand or follow along here:

What Coulda Been…

Just be nice poster from Zazzle nerd blogger

On Saturday evening, I got rear ended. Thank God my car wasn’t damaged and I only ended up with minor whiplash, all in all not a big deal.

But here’s what coulda been…

The guy coulda pulled over, checked to see if I was ok, if my car was ok. We coulda exchanged numbers. It coulda been our meet cute. Cue the adorable plucky music for adorable plucky us…

(The scene opens on two cars pulling into a BP gas station. The heroine of our story steps out of her bright yellow punch buggy, her pink hair a little disheveled, her mood a little disheveled.)

(Cute guy steps out of his white Range Rover with an apologetic, yet charming smirk.)

“Couldn’t you see me?” She asks him.

“I am so sorry ma’am!! I was not paying attention. Are you ok? Is your car ok?” he asks.

She looks at his disarming smile and cracks one herself. “Looks like no damage was done. You’re a lucky guy!”
“That remains to be seen.” He steps closer.

“Well, we should really exchange information. You know, in case you find some damage.”

“Oh, we should, should we? Cause…uh…I don’t see any damage.” She takes a step closer.

“I don’t know…I think I see a scratch. you should come take a look.”

They both step closer to the car and to each other. Sparks fly.

They go on 5 dates, fall madly in love and tell the adorable story of how they met at their wedding reception!

Alas….what really happened on Saturday after I was rear ended was this:

As I pulled into the BP gas station to see if my car was ok, to see if his car was ok like a normal human being…he just drove off. Leaving me to wonder “WHAT THE HELL, DUDE?!!” And the adorable story of our potential romance was not to be…

What I’m saying is that it pays to be a kind person. And he will never know…what coulda been!!

Just be nice poster from Dazzle nerd blogger
Poster available at Zazzle.com

(Don’t worry…I’m as upset about the poster spelling “Its” wrong as you are!)

Not My Timeline

Look, whether you are a passenger on the Trump Train or are currently working on your protest signs for the next march, you cannot deny that there has been a shift, a change in the winds. But instead of getting Mary Poppins, we got hatred, derision, division, fear, riots, protests, strikes, trolling, name-calling and more.

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Photo from MattForney.com

A lot of us are asking, “Why, God? Why?” But listen, God didn’t vote for Trump! So, I think what it boils down to is that we are simply asking the wrong question. We have to step back from the ledge and examine why and how we got here to begin with. And I think I have the answer…

Someone messed with our timeline, guys!! Look, I like think about what I’d do with a time machine as much as you do! Quick, top 5 time periods you’d travel to. Quick, top 5 dead people you want to brunch with. We’ve all fantasized about warning the Titanic about that pesky iceberg, assassinating Hitler before he has a time to wipe out millions of Jews and bearing witness to some of history’s greatest hits.

But as we all know, with great power comes great responsibility. And someone just got greedy.

Someone went to all the trouble of building a time machine and it worked. They went back! But, instead of being a careful observer, they tinkered with the timeline leaving us with what can only be described as the beginnings of a dystopian 80’s film.

The thing is, this person will eventually have to return to our time and they’ll discover what they’ve done. It’s up to us to cut them off at the pass and commander whatever contraption they’ve managed to create.

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Photo from bustedtees.com

So whether it’s a flying Delorian that runs on gigawatts, a giant blue police box that defies space and time, a brass sled, a fancy necklace, a wormhole, an old pocket watch or something a bit more sophisticated like in Terminator…it’s up to us, my fellow Americans, to be vigilant.

We must find this meddler and put to rights what has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

So…if you see something, say something. We can come back from this. After all, if Marty McFly could fix his timeline, there’s hope for us!! I have to believe there’s still hope.

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