Dear Inspiration,

Dear inspiration,

Dear spark of imagination,

Dear intense, unfailing dedication to sharing my inner conflagration,

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Where have you gone today? Correction, where have you been for a while now? I remember the days when we would sit in Central Park, me with a pen and paper, you swarming through my whole being, igniting the cobwebs in my mind and turning every silken thread into a tapestry of thoughts. These days my thoughts feel less substantial. My writing less inspired. My blog sadly missing you and your flare for the dramatic honesty.

Something was lost between New York, California and Florida. Perhaps you lost track of me in my travels. I tend not to stay in one place for long, if I can help it. The fault is yours, for I travel to experience more of you. But lately when I sit down to write, what comes out is a cacophony of words that have no cohesion. A maelstrom of thoughts with no clear conclusion. Where have you gone, my inspiration? Did I leave you in New York? I thought I felt your breath on my neck when we went to California. Every sunset we saw together would inspire poetry. I wasn’t seeing those sunsets alone was I?
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I know, I know…sometimes you visit me in the wee hours of the morning, when I’m still drunk on dreams. But what you leave behind, I cannot seem to grasp. The mere whisper of magic…the faint scent of the divine. I wish I could lasso your power and harness your energy. I wish I could keep you in a bottle and pour you on when I need you most.

But you are not to be caught in my fisher’s net. You, imagination…you are fierce and wild and will not be tamed by a mere mortal. Even one who thinks as highly of you as I do. Even one who puts a store of dreams in the mention of your name. Even I don’t deserve to keep you locked up, like a tiger in a zoo. Locked up and caged where you do not belong.

There are others who call upon your influence. Others who need you as much as I do. And I know you have to answer their siren call, for their call is no more important than mine. You have to be in so many places at once. God made it so. The way He made it so Santa Claus could travel through the night and need no rest till his work is done. You, too, are undaunted by the call of your duty to the dreamers of the world.

Galaxies are created in your name. Brand new worlds uncharted by human cartographers are discovered. Characters spring to life, upright and fully functioning in the minds of the creators, your offspring. Those who write and draw and sing and dream. Those who make empowered speeches that inspire others to write and draw and sing and dream. This is the evidence of your majestic influence. The bright colors splashed upon our world to brighten dull days and give bold words to mundane moments. You, the paintbrush of God himself, are hard at work in someone else today.

Don’t forget to return to me. Don’t forget your faithful friend. I await your return with eager anticipation. My pen still finds the paper in your absence. My voice is not gone. I use the remnants of what you left behind when last we were together and I will write and draw and sing and dream until the day you come back to me.

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I Don’t Believe In That Anymore

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Back when I was 15 and a wide-eyed, romantic high school kid, I believed whole-heartedly in ‘The One.’ I believed there was One predestined,  preordained (I won’t say perfect, but pretty darn close) person God had picked out for me. And it was just a matter of time till he found me or I found him. Our paths would one day cross (ideally by the age of 22), he’d be captured by that thing that seems to capture men’s attention in the movies and we would be married and well on our way to ‘happily ever after.’
Cause that’s how it works right?

Well, 22 came and The One never did. 25 came and I was still single. 30 came and I thought something must have been wrong. Isn’t ‘he’ supposed to have found me by now? What was taking so long? Was I really that hard to find?

Then, one day, my pastor preached a sermon on love and The One at church. He said that there is no such thing as The One. This is not a concept created by God. He’s not up there weaving his magical tapestry of our lives and preordaining every single thing we do, including who we do or do not marry. Yes, He knows what our choice will be and I think to some people that seems to mean the choice isn’t there to begin with, if He knows the outcome. But I don’t believe that. He created so many different people for us to meet and connect with and love. It’s the choice that makes the difference. It’s the choice that makes us free. And it’s the choice to choose to love someone that makes falling in love so much better than just accidentally letting it happen and having no say in the matter.  (Check out the sermon series here: Journey NYC)

Besides, if there was only One person out there for me to end up with… what if he got bored and married someone else? What if he had a tragic accident leaving him unable to come and find me? What if he died prematurely, never allowing us to meet at all? Would that be it for me? Would that be the end of the romantic story of my life?

Can you imagine… you spend your life waiting and one day you die and you get to Heaven and ask God,

“What happened, God? I thought you wanted me to get married and have kids, but my One never came around. Did I do something wrong?”

And God says, “Totally had someone for you, but he fell onto the train tracks one day and died before he met you. Sorry about that. Nothing I could do, my hands were tied. But he would have been perfect for ya! I promise.”

By limiting ourselves to one person in a sea of billions, we limit the possibilities for our lives. We limit God’s imagination for us. And we limit ourselves to some unattainable fairytale.

I am an optimist. I am a romantic. I believe in love. I just don’t believe in love at first sight or destiny. I think it’s hard work to love someone. I think it will be hard work for someone to love me. I think that it’s a choice and I just haven’t chosen to take that step with anyone I have met so far. Rather than waiting for someone to see that magical thing in me that inspires love and devotion, I’m waiting to see it in someone. It takes two to tango and I won’t wait around to be chosen. I get to do the choosing! And that is an encouraging thought. God has placed the ball entirely in my court. It’s up to me to make the move.


Check out this week’s episode of my web series for more on The One!! 

25 days of (nerdy) Christmas!

“O Christmas nerds! O Christmas nerds!”

Day 12: Origami Nintendo mushroom ornaments

The directions for this origami ornament can be found here.
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I just took the template and made it Nintendo specific by adding little eyes and then used a fine fishing line to string them into ornaments. This is super easy and a real cute way to nerd up your Christmas tree!!
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Happy Halloween, nerds!!!

So today is Halloween. And up here in New York it is supposed to rain tonight. And last year was Hurricane Sandy and the year before that there was a freak snow storm. Basically God is putting the kibosh on slutty costumes.

This does not upset me in the least. It is upsetting to me (sorry guys) that each year costumes get sluttier and sluttier. And people are finding ways to make even the least slutty occupation, somehow slutty. Like slutty construction worker and slutty police man and slutty unicorn (not a profession, but you get my drift.)

I really don’t understand it. The one year I went as something that could have been perceived as slutty, I was a Victoria’s Secret Angel and I wore pajamas and wings. Everything was covered. I like creativity and well thought out costumes. Costumes that are funny or nostalgic or nerdy. These are what should win the prizes.

I was in a costume contest a few years back. I went as Catwoman (I wore a long-sleeved turtleneck, black leggings and black boy shorts. By no means slutty!!) You know what won that year? Slutty Brittney Spears. (As if the slutty even needed to be added on back then.) It was just the worst. I didn’t even have a great costume that year, but there were plenty of others that should have won the prize.

Women of the world, I beg you. Quit with the slut routine!!! Find something new to be. Quit showing your boobs and your ass and everything else God gave ya!! Leave a little to the imagination. I beg of you!!!

Anyways. Have a very Happy Halloween tonight and stay dry!!! Don’t forget to share pictures (unless they’re slutty… then don’t!)

Happy Hallow’s Eve

Tomorrow is one of my very favorite holidays. A day of dressing up. A day of sweet treats (none for me this year, *Live Below the Line!) A day of general fun and frivolity!

Here is my very favorite Pinterest pumpkin to get you excited for the big day!!

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It’s a pumpkin house!!! Some people are so creative! Well done.

Star Wars and Harry Potter

Before I write another word, Star Wars has always been and will always be my very favorite movies of all time. I know every line. And every time I watch any one of them my heart is immediately lightened. It’s nostalgia and joy and all manner of good things wrapped in a bow. Sort of the way you feel when you play with puppies. But with lighsabers thrown in. (Not thrown at the puppies. I hope that was clear!)

Now…I can confidentally say that Harry Potter is officially my second favorite set of movies. (LOTR is a very close third. Very close!) And let me just tell you why. I actually hadn’t seen either parts of The Deathly Hallows since they were in theaters.
And I just finished the whole series once again. Harry burdens my heart and makes me think. Harry presents simple concepts wrapped in riddles. Harry gives us Snape and Neville and Sirius and Luna. There is such a beauty in the series that just grabs my heart and holds on till the end. And each time I watch it I let myself forget all I know about it and I am taken on the ride all over again. And by the end I am knee deep in Kleenex every time.

Nothing can compare to Star Wars for me. It’s in a class all it’s own. Plus it has about 15 year of constant viewing on every other movie out there.But I truly believe nothing can quite compare to Harry Potter either. And that’s why it deserves second place on my favorite movies list. (Seriously…LOTR is really, really close behind!)