Quality over Quantity

Pick your friend's nose E Cards friendship blog post

Think back to when you were in the 2nd grade. How many friends did you have? If you’re a social butterfly like me, then you had lots of friends. I knew practically everyone in the 2nd grade at my little, country elementary school and they all knew me. I was the one who was always on the play ground holding court and making sure everyone had room on the jungle gym. If you can’t get along on the jungle gym then there’s no hope for you in the halls of a school. I tried very hard to make people feel welcome and accepted, which lead to my bevy of friends.

Jungle Gym Unsplash photos by Daniel Ruyter blog post friendship
Photo: Unsplash.com by Daniel Ruyter

Flash forward to high school and gym time was an entirely different story. Not only do jungle gyms disappear in 6th grade (sadly) but so did my popularity. In 6th grade I began to show signs of becoming awkwardly tall and awkward in personality. The quirks that set you apart and make you cool when you’re little, immediately are seen as weird when you hit middle school. It’s all about homogeny and I wasn’t good at that game. So, I had a couple friends that were my besties, but that was really it. All the awkwardness of middle school was only exacerbated by age and my entrance into high school. And to some degree it continued into college.

The older I got the smaller my pool of friends became. In my head, I still had this picture of me on the jungle gym surrounded by all kinds of people, all kinds of friends. The friends that will get your back in a fight. The friends that will tell you it’s stupid to fight. The friends that started the fight. The friends who are fighting you. The friends on the sidelines cheering you on. I’m the kind of girl that cherishes all the friends. The more the merry.

So, to have a handful still throws me sometimes. I feel like I’m doing something wrong if I invite my friends to my party and 4 people show up. It doesn’t diminish the importance of those 4 friends, it’s just that sometimes my head doesn’t reconcile itself to my present reality. It may sound juvenile or silly, but what it really is, is completely honest. I have a hard time with reality. Especially when I paint really gorgeous thoughts and ideas in my head. Why wouldn’t I want to spend more time up there?

Friendship blog post Unsplash photos by Brooke Cagle
Photo: Unsplash.com by Brooke Cagle

See, in my head, it’s easy to be friends with people, but in reality it is difficult to be a friend and have friends sometimes. Especially when most of my besties are far, far away. There are times when I think that I’d make a better cave person than a friend. I want so desperately to do life with people that I care about, that I forget that there are people who don’t want to do life with me back. It’s still a new concept for me, hopeless optimist that I am. But it has become part of my present reality. A decidedly painful reality.

I get it. We all have one life to live and we have to make choices about who gets our time. Time is very important to me, so I understand spending it well. I guess the thought that I would be someone undeserving of a person’s time and energy is just so baffling, because I find myself occasionally delightful at best and moderately tolerable at worst. I hope that doesn’t sound narcissistic. It’s just that I spent all those awkward teen and college years trying to be anyone else. And I’ve finally accepted that I’m a pretty neat person. So I don’t apologize for liking myself after all this time. Liking yourself is a gift!

With that in mind, I want to give the time that is allotted to me to those individuals who enhance my life’s journey. And what I’ve learned is that quantity does not matter. Who cares how many friends you have? What matters is who will show up when you need them the most. The quality of friendship far outweighs the latter.

I am blessed to count on my hands a number of people who would drop everything to take my call. And who I would do the same for. I hate to make it sound harsh and I truly hate adulting. While cutting out the chaff may be difficult, it is a vitally important step in the process of growing up.

That’s not to say that I don’t still sometimes wish I was back on the jungle gym where things were easy and you became friends with someone simply because you were both wearing the same color…it’s just not physically true anymore. And I don’t have time for the fair-weather friends of the world. What happens when the storm comes? Who’s holding the umbrella with you? That’s the friend I want in my corner. It’s the kind of friend I hope that I am to my quality handful.

Friendship blog post  Unsplash photos by Pavel Badrtdinov
Photo: Unsplash.com by Pavel Badrtdinov

You’d think that social media would help immensely with this friendship problem, but it only muddies the waters. It only creates a false sense  of closeness with people who let go of you a long time ago and you just forgot to delete from your contact list. So, gentle reader, choose quality over quantity. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose…unless they’re a quality friend, then they’ll probably pick your nose right back!

Pick your friend's nose E Cards friendship blog post
Photo: SomeEcards.com

The Family That Nerds Together

Nerd runs deep in my family. My father has it, my brother has it, my mother has it, my uncle has it, my cousin has it and of course… I have it.

Nerdy things were not cool at school. But they sure were cool at home!
My parents are huge Trekkies, saw Star Wars in the theaters and are always watching whatever superhero, fairytale, castaway TV show comes on. The nerd runs even deeper than my immediate family. My aunt and uncle, my cousin and her husband…we’re all a bunch of nerds.

So I come by my nerd pretty naturally. You could say I was destined for nerdom! And in the wake of a new Star Wars movie, I wondered what my family members felt about Star Wars. What it’s meant to them. And here’s what they said…

Linton (Uncle):

“I can remember thinking ‘STAR WARS?’ How could anything be better than STAR TREK? Not possible!! But then I went to see it, it was just AMAZING! From the scroll in the beginning to the very end. Star Trek, take a back seat!”

Star Trek, take a back seat!%22

Barbara (Mom):

“It’s hard to believe that I have such a vivid picture of watching the first Star Wars movie in 1977 since I don’t have a great memory about other events in my past. I remember not really knowing much about what I was going to be seeing. I went with some friends from college. I always liked Sci-Fi, Star Trek was a favorite, but I didn’t really know much about Star Wars.

That day in the theater when it came on the big screen was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Bigger than life, exciting, fantastic, amazing! Coming out of the theater we couldn’t talk about anything else, but what we had just experienced. And when we learned that there was going to be another movie made, we were ecstatic.

Each subsequent movie has been the same, bigger than life and amazing. I know the upcoming one will be awesome and I can’t wait!”

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Sterling (Cousin):

“Well it was you and Jeremy who introduced me to Star Wars (along with Power Rangers, the Rosie O’Donnell Show and Gone with the Wind, those were the only things ever on TV at your house.) And my first memory was actually not watching Star Wars together, but dressing up for Halloween as Star Wars characters together. My Ewok costume wasn’t staying together so I remember my father stapling me into it.”

my first memory was actually not watching Star Wars together, but dressing up for Halloween as Star Wars characters

Jeremy (Brother): 

“Star Wars. I must say it has been quite a ride for me. I cannot pinpoint when I first watched it or when I first became a superfan, mainly because it’s been with me for as long as I can remember. My sister likes to think that she introduced me to it, I tend to think the other way around. Whatever the case, it has been a huge part of my life. There was a time post-prequels when my enthusiasm waned. Why? Who knows. It could have been my post-college adulthood trying to push out all of the things I liked as a kid. Whatever the reason, Star Wars was put on the back burner for several years.

What brought it back (and in a big way?) I think it must have been watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars TV series. It gave me new stories and characters to love as well as reminding me of all of the other aspects of Star Wars I loved.

Now, I’m back to being that superfan I was as a kid (so much so, I have a Star Wars room and even contemplated naming my soon-to-be baby girl Leia…or Rey.) And how, if you are a living breathing human (or non-human) can you not be excited about The Force Awakens? I mean…Episode VII!!! Who ever thought that this day would come! (*contented sigh)

I LOVE STAR WARS!”

DESSERTS

Eric (Dad): 

“I saw Episode IV then I was a counselor at Salvation Army summer camp.. The rest of the time at camp we college age counselors (at least the cool ones) discussed the various aspects of the movie. Little did I know that that was just the beginning of my involvement with a whole new universe – or at least a galaxy!”

The rest of the time at camp we college age counselors (at least the cool ones) discussed the various aspects of the movie.

 
What does Star Wars mean to you? Comment below or send me an email at liztailor481@gmail.com

30 Day of Nerdy Hair – Day 20

Day 20 – Claire from Jurassic World

By now we all know the awesome power of the mighty dinosaur. No one expected Jurassic World to sweep the box office the way it has. It even managed to kick the Avenger’s collective asses too. That’s quite the feat. It makes sense that something tied to so many of our childhood’s would get this kind of reception (I cannot wait to see Star Wars brush that record to the side.) But aside from the nostalgia, it is a really good movie!! I knew I’d like it. I didn’t know I would LOVE it!!

Bryce Dallas Howard’s, Claire is snooty, uptight, career oriented and single minded. She is far more concerned with the way things work, than whether or not she is enjoying life. It isn’t until imminent death threatens her, her nephews and an island full of people that she starts to show her humanity.

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My bob is a little messier. This could be Claire after disaster strikes. A more disheveled, unkempt Claire.

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I don’t have a catch phrase for this one except for “The park is open” so just go see Jurassic World if you haven’t already. If you loved the old ones, I really don’t think you’ll be disappointed!

30 Days of Nerdy Hair – Day 15

Day 15: Kimmy Gibbler from Full House

A couple months ago, the news broke that Netflix and John Stamos were working on a Full House spin off, Fuller House. Not only will Candace Cameron Bure’s, DJ Tanner be coming back to the small screen,  but her sister Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) and of course, DJ’s best fried, the one and only Kimmy Gibbler (Andrea Barbara) will return as well. (Is anyone else as excited for this show as I am??)

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The key to Kimmy Gibbler hair is stacked scrunchies and volume. If you have curly hair, let it run free. If you have straighter hair, tease that sucker till it stands on it’s own. Then stack those scrunchies on top of your head and bam… you are officially rocking the Kimmy Gibbler.

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30 Days of Nerdy Hair – Day 11

Day 11: JEM from JEM and the Holograms

This was definitely one of my favorite cartoons growing up. Girl inherits record label and becomes a philanthropic business woman by day and an incognito rockstar by night. My life goals were set!!

If you were born in the late 80’s or 90’s and missed JEM and the Holograms, it’s all on Netflix. Though I warn you, it’s not exactly a cartoon for kids. (Definitely wasn’t aware how inappropriate it was as a kid.) I also want to make sure that you know the upcoming movie is a far cry from the magnificence that was Jem! To hear my thought on that: click here.
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I am a brunette by nature, so it’s hard for my hair to achieve the color pink that JEM was able to rock. Plus I don’t have a holographic program, like Synergy, at the touch of an earring to assist me in creating my alter ego. But some hair chalk and a pair of clip-on star earrings from Buffalo Exchange will take you right back to 1985 and let’s be honest…I could totally be JEM. I just need my Holograms. (Any volunteers??)

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This hair is truly outrageous!!

This is how you JEM

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Ok I rare to never post about things I don’t like. I think there’s too much negativity on the internet already and I really don’t feel the need or desire to add to that. But I gotta talk about this new trailer for JEM and the Holograms…

WHAT THE?!?!?! This is not JEM. This is basically the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats reboot for 2015. (And yes…I secretly love that movie even though it’s terrible! But it helps if you think of it separately from the 80’s cartoon of the same name.) Which is exactly what will need to be done for any JEM fans watching this new movie. Completely put everything out of your mind that you loved about the cartoon. Like… the Misfits (they could very well be in this film, but the trailer doesn’t mention them at all). JEM being Jerrica’s alter-ego/ superpower/ hologram (it’s a thing), not her stage name! The fact that JEM is not some angsty teenager (the show is certainly not without a little angst, but come on!!) And I’m sure many other things.

Here’s where my head is at with a JEM reboot:

1. Katy Perry

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Katy Perry basically is JEM in real life. She has the spirit of Jerrica Benton and she sure can sing.

2. Emma Stone

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Emma Stone would make a fun, spicy JEM. Sadly, this fan art will only ever be a fan’s dream.

3. Blake Lively

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Blake Lively definitely has the look of Jerrica Benton. Not sure about the singing, but in Hollywood, most impossible things are made possible.

I could cast out the whole movie. The Holograms – Kimber, Shana, Aja and Raya. The Misfits – Pizzazz, Stormer, Roxy and Jetta… But I think the lynch pin is JEM herself. And the new movie has clearly lost it’s mind in making by making it into a teeny bopper movie that may as well be called something else entirely. In fact, if they had named it something else, I might actually go see it. Cause I’m a sucker for movies like that! But why take the name and make it something so completely unrecognizable? I just don’t get it.

This is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot all over again, except without Megan Fox…thank goodness!! (Don’t even get me started on that!)

Let’s look back at the original, untouchable JEM who was truly outrageous!!!

Also, to any JEM fans out there, let me know what you think. And use the hashtag #ThisishowyouJEM to set the record straight on how this JEM and the Holograms reboot should be!!

To Thine Own Self be True

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Photo from Fashion by Mayhem

Today is National Shero Day! A day to celebrate dynamic women that inspire us and drive us to be better. And the Shero I want to talk about is not a woman yet, but she is an inspiration. She is 6 year old Mayhem from the amazing Instagram and blog Fashion by Mayhem. If you haven’t discovered the amazingness of Mayhem’s daily fashion creations, please check her out right now.

I’ve been following Mayhem for a while and I continue to be amazed by her personality and ability to stay herself. She is gaining more and more press and attention and it hasn’t changed her. I hope this continues. But it made me think of myself when I was a kid. And how growing up did change me.

When I was younger, I always used to try crazy style ideas that I’d come up with in my head. (Who would ever have thought me capable of such a thing?) Skirts over pants, multiple bindis on my forehead, fingerless glove sleeves. I even made my own homecoming gown in the 10th grade. Basically, if I had fun with it and liked what I saw when I left the house… I’d wear it.

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This gave me a reputation for being a weird kid. I would often be made fun of and not just by the mean bullies, but by close friends and sometimes family too. I don’t think they meant to be mean. They were just commenting on the vast difference between me and (seemingly) everyone else. They just didn’t get me. Didn’t get my style and as we see everyday, humans tend to persecute what they don’t understand.

So, somewhere along the way, right around Junior/ Senior years of high school, I started to do what the other kids were doing. I started to lose that confidence and style that was once so uniquely me. I took to wearing t-shirts and baggy jeans, because if no one notices you, then no one will be mean to you. And I let myself fade into the background. I quit the high school marching band and got low grades and just phoned it all in.

There’s a funny story I like to tell about taking my Senior school pictures. Right before I went into the room, someone told me I had the biggest smile. So big that they could see my gums. And I thought “well, that’s a horrifying thought.” When I walked into the photographer’s room, instead of flashing my big, bright, beautiful smile with the confidence of my younger self, my smile ended up looking like what I can only describe as the pinched smile of a person with zero self esteem. Basically I looked like I had been drugged! I let someone else’s comment on my appearance change one of my favorite features. I love my smile, but in a split second I made the choice to hide it because of someone’s words.

I know what you’re thinking… how can style effect someone so much. It’s not the clothes that mattered in this situation because there was a lot more going on under the surface. More than a drastic change in fashion sense. There’s usually more than what you see or what you think going on in any given situation.

For a kid who proudly wore her Wonder Woman pj’s as everyday clothes, this switch in style was an important red flag.

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It took many years for me to feel comfortable in my own skin again. And to eschew the opinion of others, mean or otherwise, in deference to not only my own opinion of myself, but God’s opinion of me.

I talk a lot about those awkward years of missteps and self discovery, because I was a hot mess (minus the hot.) I knew who I was, then forgot who I was, then tried to find who I was in the eyes of everyone else around me. This is universal stuff here. So I like to talk about it because, for the most part, I’m through it. I’m on the other side, gently patting my younger self on the head and saying, “Oh, little one. If only you knew what I know now. How much easier your journey would be.” And once again, I think this is not something that just little ole me has been through. And if someone out there reading this says, “Hey, I feel that way too” well, that’s why I share! Sharing opens the door on things that we are ashamed of. Our past, our shame, our embarrassment. By talking about these things, we take away the power they have over us.

Yeah, I was an awkward, weird kid. But I grew up. Though I’m still pretty quirky and weird. And people still think that remarking on my differences is somehow a nice thing. But if we hold onto these things then we never overcome them! So rise up. Rage against the machine. Don’t let the past win over your future. Cause God has better things planned for you!! And Mayhem wouldn’t like it!

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